Life As We (Don't) Know It

So far leading in the poll on the right side of the page people most want to hear about my life and other peoples' lives. I'm not sure why you want to hear about my life, it's super boring. And I can tell you about other people but it might be very exaggerated and sarcastic. So I'm going to promote that little contest I tried to start a while ago but no one seemed to pay attention to :P First 25 followers on the blog (go over to the right, scroll down, click follow) will get their names thrown into a hat and one will be pulled out. The winner gets interviewed by me and then I will write a post about their life, making it even more over the top and awesome than I'm sure it already is.

To give you an example of what your life could look like, I'm going to humor my friend Linds who's been telling me I should write about her since I started this blog, and dedicate today's blog post to her and her insanity. She's got a bit of a bizarre existence. So bear with me and realize what cool friends I have.

Once upon a time, Lindsey and I hated each other. Well. That's a lie. Lindsey hated me and I was very confused as to why she hated me. Turns out she thought I had a perfect life and was mad at me for being so happy and positive all the time. What a hilarious concept. My life is far from perfect. Anyway we sat at the same lunch table but she wouldn't even talk to me she just...sulked at me. And I was so confused. I didn't understand that my perpetual bouncy optimism could be a bad thing to some people. And she was crazy anyway, but then one day we realized that we had a lot more in common than we thought and started talking. And then all of a sudden we were like best friends. At this point I don't even remember what happened to change things, when we started being friends, or any of that stuff. I just remember her hating me then her not hating me. 

To help you get to know Lindsey, I'm going to throw out some random and partially true facts about her. You can have fun guessing what is real. 

Lindsey loves ducks. She likes them a lot more than normal people do. In fact one of her favorite birthday presents was a sparkly pink duck that her sister gave her. Sometimes I think that she should just marry a duck and then her life will be complete. It's perfectly normal though, don't go thinking she's crazy or anything. She totally isn't. She's totally normal. She just loves ducks.

Lindsey ALSO loves ladybugs. It is really fun to give her a ton of ladybugs and watch her react. She's just so happy to be covered in swarms of them. Trust me. She won't be mad at you, she's not grossed out by them or anything. 

Lindsey decided once upon a time to spell her name Lyndsey instead. I don't know why she changed it back. It confused me very much in middle school because for a while I really wasn't sure how to spell it.

Lindsey likes to date crazy people. After she's done with the crazies, I openly hate them for the rest of their lives.

Lindsey is magical. This can be interpreted many different ways but I guarantee one of your interpretations is going to be correct.

Lindsey believes in unicorns just like I do! (I'm not alone! I knew I wasn't alone!)

Lindsey cannot cook. We tried to cook once and it went horribly, horribly wrong. This has lead to our habit of simply ordering food or myself cooking the food when we hang out. On New Year's Eve we stayed up late and ate Chinese food while we watched dumb and entertaining videos on Youtube. It was much better than us trying to do anything - we "tried" to make brownies and they got really gross and tasted bad. I still don't know what went wrong.

Lindsey is a professional ninja. I'm just kidding, of course. Coz if she were a ninja I wouldn't actually be able to tell you...there's that whole no one knows who are the real ninjas thing. Next time you're on the subway watch out, there could be a ninja watching you. That'd be rather terrifying wouldn't it?

Lindsey eats soap.

Lindsey hates mustard.

Lindsey doesn't like to wait for dumb people. She's the kind of person who will yell at you if you're taking too long to do something. Sometimes it's a little upsetting, especially if you're the person she's yelling at, but you just have to deal with it.

Lindsey is usually right when I ask her for advice about things.

And that is all I have to say for now about Lindsey. She is a very amusing person. If this keyboard worked a little better I would write a "Day In The Life Of" but maybe I'll edit that in later if I have time on the other computer that actually works.

See ya! (If you have questions for Lindsey you can leave them and I'll get them to her. Not that you will, but I mean in case you do.)

Yoko Ono Is Following Me On Twitter

I got a twitter the other day. Yeah. Super fun times. I promptly became addicted, and my favorite youtuber actually messaged me back about something. So now I'm going to knit NicePeter a hat. I'm pretty excited. But THEN I followed Yoko Ono because she's one of my favorite people and I admire her so much, just like I follow all my other celebs who I'm obsessed with. AND SHE FOLLOWED ME BACK.

Now. This doesn't mean I'm super special or anything. Yoko has over a million followers, and she's followed back about 400,000 of them. Ish. So I mean it's like i had a bigger than 1 in 3 chance that she'd follow me back. But I just feel so super cool, like. YOKO ONO KNOWS I EXIST.

I just ended the last two paragraphs with capital letters. And all I can smell is Elmer's Glue because my little sister is doing her project on chimpanzees behind me. Using a lot of glue. And as I sit here, I think to myself - wow. My posts are really lame. (Maybe they're not. But. Hear me out on this.) My logic is as follows - Yokoonoisfollowingmeontwitteromgomgomg. This means that someday she might actually read something I tweet. Which could include a link to my blog. Which means Yoko Ono could possibly read my blog someday. In my dreams... She has way more important things to do like her amazing work.

Yet I'm filled with this need to perform...better. What if people actually start reading this?? They're going to judge me for being so condescending when I'm clearly just a silly teenage girl. Like what do I know about the world? Well I know what I want to do and I know what I don't like. (For example, the whole let's love babies thing in Breaking Dawn) So I mean I hope you'll stick around to read more of my random rants about life. And if you want, I can even tell more stories about Joshua working in the hospital. And my friend Lindsey wants me to write about her life, but I don't know if you want to keep hearing about my friends so I might have to spice things up a little. I will write a post turning her life into a soap opera. Complete with terrible dialogue.

....dude. Twilight would make a hilarious soap opera. I might have to write that up too. It actually sounds kinda like a soap opera. Totally unrealistic and over the top? Yeah. (I'm sorry, Alex! I know you love General Hospital!)

AND SEE NOW I'M PARANOID AGAIN. I feel like people who come to read this blog will see the title and my sidebar and my about me page and expect these hilarious awesome posts about Twilight and soap operas and Taylor Swift and my problems with these terrible influences on society. But then I feel guilty about being mean because not everyone shares my opinion. And then I worry that I'm not funny. And then I worry that everyone will go away.

This wouldn't upset me so much but now I feel like there's a chance someone important might read this. (If you're reading this, consider yourself important because I love my readers!! I have sixty-one hits on this blog. This means someone who isn't a friend of mine has actually read this blog and maybe even liked it! That is pretty freaking cool.) I need to write posts that Yoko Ono would be proud to read. Like, hey here's a fan who knows what's up! But how are you supposed to go around impressing Yoko Ono??? She's incredible, she's broken so many boundaries and achieved so much and overcome so much. I have no idea. Suggestions would be lovely, you know.

And then I remember that I'm just Margaret, a girl from a tiny little town in Massachusetts, and Yoko Ono will probably never read my blog. Which is a bit saddening. But. The pressure is off! So now I can go write posts bashing Twilight to my heart's content.