Anyone who has been in a play, been on technical crew, or directed a show, knows the horror that can fall behind that dreaded phrase, "It's Hell Week." The very idea should fill you with dread. Your eyes slowly grow wider as you understand how little sleep you are going to get, particularly if you are a high schooler in two AP classes. Your mind races to remember all those little lines and cues you thought you had down but really didn't. You know suddenly you are going to find a million little things that you wish you had time to tweak about the show. Everyone else will do the same and your life for one week will legitimately be from hell. It helps if you love the show, but by the end of the week you'll probably hate the show. It helps if you love your part but by the end of the week you will wish you had a role that didn't have quite so many lines, or if you don't have a lot of lines you'll wish you had more stage time. This is the reaction I hope you will at least begin to understand when I say those fateful words when I begin my next paragraph. Ready? Go.
It's Hell Week. Though technically we have a scary abbreviated version of Hell Week, because we have a tech rehearsal at the competition location on Wednesday, and we will have shows on Thursday and Friday. So we have two days, one now, to work out all the little kinks and actually block and create the entire ending of the show.
Hooray.
As usual I am sitting in class trying to force myself to work. Technically I need to write up a journal about my week's worth of research by tomorrow at 2:00 but right now I just don't have the attention span. I wasted my life in science today, we sat and "looked at textbooks" that are meant for freshmen because the library wasn't open. It was so tedious that my brain shut down and now I just don't want to do anything, I want to curl up in a ball and stay there until I have to go get into costume at 2.
My costume is incredible though. I was really worried about the dresses because there were...complications. But mine looks awesome. The rest...are passable? Some are really nice. I love my size for the first time in my life though beacuse it meant I got the prettiest dress that floofs (a word I thought I made up but spell check isn't telling me I'm wrong...there goes my originality for the day) and makes me so happy. It's covered in this cute floral pattern and it's legit vintage. It was made in the fifties. I think my life is complete. Now if only I got to keep it...
But. Other than that I'm actually a little worried about this play. Not everyone seems to care as much as maybe...three people seem to care. And it's annoying because I want us to get an ensemble award for our work as this "machine" that moves perfectly in sync, but that takes a lot of work and not everyone is putting in that effort. One girl wasn't even at rehearsal yesterday. (Anyone who is in drama knows that missing a day of Hell Week is basically asking to die.)
Hell Week is one of the most horrific things I go through every year, but I love acting and drama so much that I repeatedly put myself through the stress of having to watch a set be constructed, finish memorizing blocking, learn how to move in a costume that's usually a dress, and then put on four (five) shows in the space of a week.
I don't understand my brain...sometimes I think there's something wrong with me.
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Waking Up
So you may have noticed my brilliant plan to write posts to go up for each day I was gone didn't happen. That's because I didn't have time to write them before I had to get on a plane to go to NEW ORLEANS for a week of service.
I wrote a couple blog posts on our trip blog while I was down there, and I would post them for you but they're not comedic at all they're actually very serious, so I doubt many of you would be very interested. Though if I'm wrong, you can go ahead and ask for the posts and I'll put them up for you or send them to you or whatever. My mother liked them, so I mean that has to count for something, right?
But. Now I am home, and while I don't expect everyone to understand how glorious and incredible digging up stumps, picking up broken glass, making compost piles, digging holes in the ground, sorting food, carrying boxes, and scraping and painting houses can be, but let me tell you I think I've come home a completely different person. I have a new appreciation for just how strong the world can be.
I think I'm going to throw myself back into daily blog posts, and I also have some super exciting news!
I got an email from this great woman named Ann Marie in my inbox while I was away, and reading it led me to some epic new information - I'm going to be writing for The Catalyst, an online magazine (ish?) run by Sunshine Rebel Records and Cassidy Haley (who you NEED to know about RIGHT now) after they revamp.
I'm really excited for everything I'm going to get going in the next few months, but right now I have a ton of homework to do.
I wrote a couple blog posts on our trip blog while I was down there, and I would post them for you but they're not comedic at all they're actually very serious, so I doubt many of you would be very interested. Though if I'm wrong, you can go ahead and ask for the posts and I'll put them up for you or send them to you or whatever. My mother liked them, so I mean that has to count for something, right?
But. Now I am home, and while I don't expect everyone to understand how glorious and incredible digging up stumps, picking up broken glass, making compost piles, digging holes in the ground, sorting food, carrying boxes, and scraping and painting houses can be, but let me tell you I think I've come home a completely different person. I have a new appreciation for just how strong the world can be.
I think I'm going to throw myself back into daily blog posts, and I also have some super exciting news!
I got an email from this great woman named Ann Marie in my inbox while I was away, and reading it led me to some epic new information - I'm going to be writing for The Catalyst, an online magazine (ish?) run by Sunshine Rebel Records and Cassidy Haley (who you NEED to know about RIGHT now) after they revamp.
I'm really excited for everything I'm going to get going in the next few months, but right now I have a ton of homework to do.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Memorable Grammy Moments
1. Diva Scream Off at the end of the Aretha Franklin tribute. Ladies, this is a tribute, not "Listen to meeee!"
2. Christina Aguilera does not forget the words.
3. Aretha reacts...graciously, with a hint of "Oh No You Didn't."
4. I get angry watching the Jennifer Hudson commercial.
5. Train wins an award for Hey Soul Sister, perhaps the most incredible and annoyingly catchy song every to exist.
6. Lady Gaga acts like every other artist instead of doing something new and original - maybe it was to match her "new and original" song?
7. I realize I am not being mean or snarky enough in my comments.
8. Blake Shelton announces his fiance, Miranda Lambert, in a far too cute and cuddly and scripted moment that could have been perfect.
9. I do not know who Lenny Kravitz is. I fail.
10. Muse has super cool screen effects.
11. I debate the Best New Artist nominees with my brother. Could I be having sympathy for JBiebz? Shoot me now.
12. I discover Janelle Manae. And I actually really like her.
13. She crowd surfs and loses cool points.
14. Miranda Lambert wins an award she completely deserves, but doesn't mention her fiance in her speech. That's payback.
15. We relive the "memorable" meeting of Justin Bieber and Usher.
16. Justin Bieber sings with his mentor, Usher. And I don't understand a bit of it.
17. Lady Gaga beats Justin Bieber, and all is right with the world.
18. Lady Antebellum: Tight Pants. The entire group is in skinny jeans. I have mixed feelings about this.
19. Miley Cyrus is deemed deserving of a moment on stage with the members of Kings of Leon. At least she 20. didn't come onstage with Justin Bieber - the teenagers wouldn't have been able to handle themselves.
21. Cee Lo Green is once again censored, and people are making more jokes about "Forget" instead of an F-bomb.
22. Gwyneth Paltrow and Cee Lo Green together? Oh boy. Didn't he...not like her song on Glee?
23. Cee Lo Green beats out Lady Gaga for Best Costume of the Night.
24. He also wins for Best Puppets.
25. Michael Jackson's music unites us, according to the Wii.
26. Neil Patrick Harris announce stuff. This is memorable because NPH is amazing. And he makes awkward comments.
27. Katy Perry demonstrates the meaning of juxtaposition! Song about eventually finding someone but not yet - and wedding clips! Yay! It was another attempt to be sweet and corny - the second of the night. Will we get a good one? Who knows.
28. I need a second bullet to go...wtf.
29. Katy Perry was not very good live.
30. So far the best singers have been country/indie/folk. Norah Jones, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, I am so sensing a theme here.
31. Cee Lo Green should have been song of the year, but. But. Oh well.
32. I'm learning so many things from the commercials - Survivor is still on TV? What?
33. Seth Rogen will always be the funniest guy ever.
34. People are still talking about Miley smoking? hahaha.
35. Rhianna got dressed in the dark then walked into a giant rotating fan. Or got attacked by a swarm of birds.
36. Adam Levine should probably not be playing piano for Rhianna he should be singing.
37. Rhianna's hair actually catches on fire! She asked for it...
38. The camera guy is like falling over trying to get this shot...
39. Eminem is always badass. Always.
40. I don't understand why I love this song, the message is so bad. But I love it.
41. All of Eminem's songs continue to sound the same. And no matter how badass he is, they will always sound exactly the same.
42. Eminem thinks he's black, once again.
43. Jewel pretends to be a country singer, as well as pretty. She is neither.
44. Best New Artist goes to.....Esperanza Spaulding!! Thank goodness, someone actually talented instead of Justin Bieber. Though I would have been happy with either Mumford & Sons or Florence & the Machine winning.
45. I realize I am the only person in the universe who has actually heard of Esperanza Spaulding.
46. Matthew Morrison pretends to be super fly. He manages to sound stupid. As usual.
47. There is a long speech that no one will remember tomorrow.
48. We remember passed musicians. Once again, something not everyone will remember. The quality of this montage will go down so much in like fifty years when people like Bieber and Miley start dying.
49. The list is so long it needs two "moments"
50. I wait with baited breath for Kesha to crash the stage while Mick Jagger sings.
51. I get very tired when I stay up this late.
52. I debate going to bed now and skipping the rest of the show.
53. I make the hard choice to stay up.
54. Who is he announcing...?
55. I LOVE BARBRA STREISAND. I take a minute to do a dance of happiness, and I'm glad I stayed up.
56. Alex's twitter feed informs me that Adam Lambert is not performing. This dims my happiness a little.
57. My arms hurt, and I realize that it is soon time for me to depart to bed.
58. The Grammy Awards performs a truly atrocious crime - putting Nicki Minaj on stage right after the incredible Ms. Streisand. What the hell?
59. She talks. My brain dies.
60. Literally, I can feel the brain cells going as we speak.
61. Is that a symbol of the Deathly Hallows I see Eminem wearing? No, it isn't. But I got excited for a minute.
62. I get excited because Nicki Minaj is done talking. Forever? Please? She can also stop trying to be Lady Gaga. Seriously.
63. Eminem is still so badass.
64. I take a moment to question: What happened to the distribution of most of these awards? They're done off-air. There are too many songs. Cut the medleys.
65. I forgot Puff Daddy existed. And apparently he can't talk.
66. This show keeps getting longer, and they let Rhianna sing again??? What the hell is she wearing, too?
67. Rhianna looks like she got vagazzled. Or however you spell that.
68. Twitter informs me that I'm really dumb, because Puff Daddy and P-Diddy are the same person. I didn't forget he existed I just forgot his second name.
69. JLo and Marc Anthony actually look cute up there. Third time's the charm. I'm getting the "Let's look like you're not stoned" vibe.
70. "(The song otherwise known as "Forget You")"
71. Lady Antebellum wins....again. I still think it shoulda gone to Cee Lo.
72. It isn't even that good, it's a booty call song.
73. I realize it is after 11 and the show is still not over. I get pissed.
74. I wonder who will still be reading this?
75. Somewhere in the audience, someone with epilepsy dies. Somewhere in the United States, everyone watching the Grammys with epilepsy falls on the floor thrashing. Arcade Fire.
76. I decide to go to bed and stop updating the blog until tomorrow.
77. I dance.
78. I am distracted by people screaming and running on the TV commercial.
79. Simon Baker is a cutie patootie.
80. FINALLY. Album of the Year. Finally. Time to go to bed.
81. Epileptics everywhere are pissed off.
82. Goodnight, blog! I love you if you're reading this. <3 Leave a comment and I'll write something special about you tomorrow.
2. Christina Aguilera does not forget the words.
3. Aretha reacts...graciously, with a hint of "Oh No You Didn't."
4. I get angry watching the Jennifer Hudson commercial.
5. Train wins an award for Hey Soul Sister, perhaps the most incredible and annoyingly catchy song every to exist.
6. Lady Gaga acts like every other artist instead of doing something new and original - maybe it was to match her "new and original" song?
7. I realize I am not being mean or snarky enough in my comments.
8. Blake Shelton announces his fiance, Miranda Lambert, in a far too cute and cuddly and scripted moment that could have been perfect.
9. I do not know who Lenny Kravitz is. I fail.
10. Muse has super cool screen effects.
11. I debate the Best New Artist nominees with my brother. Could I be having sympathy for JBiebz? Shoot me now.
12. I discover Janelle Manae. And I actually really like her.
13. She crowd surfs and loses cool points.
14. Miranda Lambert wins an award she completely deserves, but doesn't mention her fiance in her speech. That's payback.
15. We relive the "memorable" meeting of Justin Bieber and Usher.
16. Justin Bieber sings with his mentor, Usher. And I don't understand a bit of it.
17. Lady Gaga beats Justin Bieber, and all is right with the world.
18. Lady Antebellum: Tight Pants. The entire group is in skinny jeans. I have mixed feelings about this.
19. Miley Cyrus is deemed deserving of a moment on stage with the members of Kings of Leon. At least she 20. didn't come onstage with Justin Bieber - the teenagers wouldn't have been able to handle themselves.
21. Cee Lo Green is once again censored, and people are making more jokes about "Forget" instead of an F-bomb.
22. Gwyneth Paltrow and Cee Lo Green together? Oh boy. Didn't he...not like her song on Glee?
23. Cee Lo Green beats out Lady Gaga for Best Costume of the Night.
24. He also wins for Best Puppets.
25. Michael Jackson's music unites us, according to the Wii.
26. Neil Patrick Harris announce stuff. This is memorable because NPH is amazing. And he makes awkward comments.
27. Katy Perry demonstrates the meaning of juxtaposition! Song about eventually finding someone but not yet - and wedding clips! Yay! It was another attempt to be sweet and corny - the second of the night. Will we get a good one? Who knows.
28. I need a second bullet to go...wtf.
29. Katy Perry was not very good live.
30. So far the best singers have been country/indie/folk. Norah Jones, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, I am so sensing a theme here.
31. Cee Lo Green should have been song of the year, but. But. Oh well.
32. I'm learning so many things from the commercials - Survivor is still on TV? What?
33. Seth Rogen will always be the funniest guy ever.
34. People are still talking about Miley smoking? hahaha.
35. Rhianna got dressed in the dark then walked into a giant rotating fan. Or got attacked by a swarm of birds.
36. Adam Levine should probably not be playing piano for Rhianna he should be singing.
37. Rhianna's hair actually catches on fire! She asked for it...
38. The camera guy is like falling over trying to get this shot...
39. Eminem is always badass. Always.
40. I don't understand why I love this song, the message is so bad. But I love it.
41. All of Eminem's songs continue to sound the same. And no matter how badass he is, they will always sound exactly the same.
42. Eminem thinks he's black, once again.
43. Jewel pretends to be a country singer, as well as pretty. She is neither.
44. Best New Artist goes to.....Esperanza Spaulding!! Thank goodness, someone actually talented instead of Justin Bieber. Though I would have been happy with either Mumford & Sons or Florence & the Machine winning.
45. I realize I am the only person in the universe who has actually heard of Esperanza Spaulding.
46. Matthew Morrison pretends to be super fly. He manages to sound stupid. As usual.
47. There is a long speech that no one will remember tomorrow.
48. We remember passed musicians. Once again, something not everyone will remember. The quality of this montage will go down so much in like fifty years when people like Bieber and Miley start dying.
49. The list is so long it needs two "moments"
50. I wait with baited breath for Kesha to crash the stage while Mick Jagger sings.
51. I get very tired when I stay up this late.
52. I debate going to bed now and skipping the rest of the show.
53. I make the hard choice to stay up.
54. Who is he announcing...?
55. I LOVE BARBRA STREISAND. I take a minute to do a dance of happiness, and I'm glad I stayed up.
56. Alex's twitter feed informs me that Adam Lambert is not performing. This dims my happiness a little.
57. My arms hurt, and I realize that it is soon time for me to depart to bed.
58. The Grammy Awards performs a truly atrocious crime - putting Nicki Minaj on stage right after the incredible Ms. Streisand. What the hell?
59. She talks. My brain dies.
60. Literally, I can feel the brain cells going as we speak.
61. Is that a symbol of the Deathly Hallows I see Eminem wearing? No, it isn't. But I got excited for a minute.
62. I get excited because Nicki Minaj is done talking. Forever? Please? She can also stop trying to be Lady Gaga. Seriously.
63. Eminem is still so badass.
64. I take a moment to question: What happened to the distribution of most of these awards? They're done off-air. There are too many songs. Cut the medleys.
65. I forgot Puff Daddy existed. And apparently he can't talk.
66. This show keeps getting longer, and they let Rhianna sing again??? What the hell is she wearing, too?
67. Rhianna looks like she got vagazzled. Or however you spell that.
68. Twitter informs me that I'm really dumb, because Puff Daddy and P-Diddy are the same person. I didn't forget he existed I just forgot his second name.
69. JLo and Marc Anthony actually look cute up there. Third time's the charm. I'm getting the "Let's look like you're not stoned" vibe.
70. "(The song otherwise known as "Forget You")"
71. Lady Antebellum wins....again. I still think it shoulda gone to Cee Lo.
72. It isn't even that good, it's a booty call song.
73. I realize it is after 11 and the show is still not over. I get pissed.
74. I wonder who will still be reading this?
75. Somewhere in the audience, someone with epilepsy dies. Somewhere in the United States, everyone watching the Grammys with epilepsy falls on the floor thrashing. Arcade Fire.
76. I decide to go to bed and stop updating the blog until tomorrow.
77. I dance.
78. I am distracted by people screaming and running on the TV commercial.
79. Simon Baker is a cutie patootie.
80. FINALLY. Album of the Year. Finally. Time to go to bed.
81. Epileptics everywhere are pissed off.
82. Goodnight, blog! I love you if you're reading this. <3 Leave a comment and I'll write something special about you tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
OHMAHGAWD where have I been?
I HAVE BEEN EVERYWHERE! Dealing with a lot of drama and a lot of homework. The past...what, two and a half, two weeks since I've posted have been absolutely the most hectic time ever. And now I have no readers. Darn. New mission, rebuild reader base.
So what have I actually been up to? I have lost four friends since 2011 started. That's okay though because I had way more than four friends to start with, so it's like, count your losses and move on. I fell for a guy and made it all up in my head (I totally identify with Kurt on this one) and then that crashed. I went to a party that couldn't start for three hours because Ke$ha wasn't there yet. I got so excited for the return of Glee that I screamed. I failed a test. I whipped my hair back and forth. I started new classes. I'm creating a nonprofit organization! (maybe.)
SO I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
First. Darren Criss. It annoys me a lot that people are like, totally obsessed with him now that he's on Glee. I've been mad for him since AVPM. All you fakers who think you found him first? YOU are not the REAL fans. A Very Potter Musical pwns everything on the face of this planet. Also I quite enjoy his sunglasses. But I'm not a creeper. I just have a celeb crush is all. And even if celeb crushes never work out he actually seems like a really cool guy.
I may be writing that paragraph just in case Darren sees the tweet in which I said he should go to prom with me, clicks on my twitter, and reads my blog. Never, ever gonna happen. But hey, a girl can dream, right?
Secondly. Everyone needs to shut up about Christina Aguilera messing up the National Anthem. There are WAY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS that could be talked about right now. Like what's going on in Egypt. Or how we've desensitized ourselves to war. Or things like that. She messed up one line. She nailed the rehearsal, we all know she can sing it. She's incredible. So stop with the grief and the "omg I hate her." If you want to complain about anyone, complain about the Black Eyed Peas during the Superbowl halftime show.
Thirdly. I'm going to start blogging daily again. Hopefully you'll enjoy that!
Fourthly. I'm very tired and out of things to say. I'll write you a real post tomorrow, kay? Love you all!
So what have I actually been up to? I have lost four friends since 2011 started. That's okay though because I had way more than four friends to start with, so it's like, count your losses and move on. I fell for a guy and made it all up in my head (I totally identify with Kurt on this one) and then that crashed. I went to a party that couldn't start for three hours because Ke$ha wasn't there yet. I got so excited for the return of Glee that I screamed. I failed a test. I whipped my hair back and forth. I started new classes. I'm creating a nonprofit organization! (maybe.)
SO I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
First. Darren Criss. It annoys me a lot that people are like, totally obsessed with him now that he's on Glee. I've been mad for him since AVPM. All you fakers who think you found him first? YOU are not the REAL fans. A Very Potter Musical pwns everything on the face of this planet. Also I quite enjoy his sunglasses. But I'm not a creeper. I just have a celeb crush is all. And even if celeb crushes never work out he actually seems like a really cool guy.
I may be writing that paragraph just in case Darren sees the tweet in which I said he should go to prom with me, clicks on my twitter, and reads my blog. Never, ever gonna happen. But hey, a girl can dream, right?
Secondly. Everyone needs to shut up about Christina Aguilera messing up the National Anthem. There are WAY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS that could be talked about right now. Like what's going on in Egypt. Or how we've desensitized ourselves to war. Or things like that. She messed up one line. She nailed the rehearsal, we all know she can sing it. She's incredible. So stop with the grief and the "omg I hate her." If you want to complain about anyone, complain about the Black Eyed Peas during the Superbowl halftime show.
Thirdly. I'm going to start blogging daily again. Hopefully you'll enjoy that!
Fourthly. I'm very tired and out of things to say. I'll write you a real post tomorrow, kay? Love you all!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Life As We (Don't) Know It
So far leading in the poll on the right side of the page people most want to hear about my life and other peoples' lives. I'm not sure why you want to hear about my life, it's super boring. And I can tell you about other people but it might be very exaggerated and sarcastic. So I'm going to promote that little contest I tried to start a while ago but no one seemed to pay attention to :P First 25 followers on the blog (go over to the right, scroll down, click follow) will get their names thrown into a hat and one will be pulled out. The winner gets interviewed by me and then I will write a post about their life, making it even more over the top and awesome than I'm sure it already is.
To give you an example of what your life could look like, I'm going to humor my friend Linds who's been telling me I should write about her since I started this blog, and dedicate today's blog post to her and her insanity. She's got a bit of a bizarre existence. So bear with me and realize what cool friends I have.
Once upon a time, Lindsey and I hated each other. Well. That's a lie. Lindsey hated me and I was very confused as to why she hated me. Turns out she thought I had a perfect life and was mad at me for being so happy and positive all the time. What a hilarious concept. My life is far from perfect. Anyway we sat at the same lunch table but she wouldn't even talk to me she just...sulked at me. And I was so confused. I didn't understand that my perpetual bouncy optimism could be a bad thing to some people. And she was crazy anyway, but then one day we realized that we had a lot more in common than we thought and started talking. And then all of a sudden we were like best friends. At this point I don't even remember what happened to change things, when we started being friends, or any of that stuff. I just remember her hating me then her not hating me.
To help you get to know Lindsey, I'm going to throw out some random and partially true facts about her. You can have fun guessing what is real.
Lindsey loves ducks. She likes them a lot more than normal people do. In fact one of her favorite birthday presents was a sparkly pink duck that her sister gave her. Sometimes I think that she should just marry a duck and then her life will be complete. It's perfectly normal though, don't go thinking she's crazy or anything. She totally isn't. She's totally normal. She just loves ducks.
Lindsey ALSO loves ladybugs. It is really fun to give her a ton of ladybugs and watch her react. She's just so happy to be covered in swarms of them. Trust me. She won't be mad at you, she's not grossed out by them or anything.
Lindsey decided once upon a time to spell her name Lyndsey instead. I don't know why she changed it back. It confused me very much in middle school because for a while I really wasn't sure how to spell it.
Lindsey likes to date crazy people. After she's done with the crazies, I openly hate them for the rest of their lives.
Lindsey is magical. This can be interpreted many different ways but I guarantee one of your interpretations is going to be correct.
Lindsey believes in unicorns just like I do! (I'm not alone! I knew I wasn't alone!)
Lindsey cannot cook. We tried to cook once and it went horribly, horribly wrong. This has lead to our habit of simply ordering food or myself cooking the food when we hang out. On New Year's Eve we stayed up late and ate Chinese food while we watched dumb and entertaining videos on Youtube. It was much better than us trying to do anything - we "tried" to make brownies and they got really gross and tasted bad. I still don't know what went wrong.
Lindsey is a professional ninja. I'm just kidding, of course. Coz if she were a ninja I wouldn't actually be able to tell you...there's that whole no one knows who are the real ninjas thing. Next time you're on the subway watch out, there could be a ninja watching you. That'd be rather terrifying wouldn't it?
Lindsey eats soap.
Lindsey hates mustard.
Lindsey doesn't like to wait for dumb people. She's the kind of person who will yell at you if you're taking too long to do something. Sometimes it's a little upsetting, especially if you're the person she's yelling at, but you just have to deal with it.
Lindsey is usually right when I ask her for advice about things.
And that is all I have to say for now about Lindsey. She is a very amusing person. If this keyboard worked a little better I would write a "Day In The Life Of" but maybe I'll edit that in later if I have time on the other computer that actually works.
See ya! (If you have questions for Lindsey you can leave them and I'll get them to her. Not that you will, but I mean in case you do.)
To give you an example of what your life could look like, I'm going to humor my friend Linds who's been telling me I should write about her since I started this blog, and dedicate today's blog post to her and her insanity. She's got a bit of a bizarre existence. So bear with me and realize what cool friends I have.
Once upon a time, Lindsey and I hated each other. Well. That's a lie. Lindsey hated me and I was very confused as to why she hated me. Turns out she thought I had a perfect life and was mad at me for being so happy and positive all the time. What a hilarious concept. My life is far from perfect. Anyway we sat at the same lunch table but she wouldn't even talk to me she just...sulked at me. And I was so confused. I didn't understand that my perpetual bouncy optimism could be a bad thing to some people. And she was crazy anyway, but then one day we realized that we had a lot more in common than we thought and started talking. And then all of a sudden we were like best friends. At this point I don't even remember what happened to change things, when we started being friends, or any of that stuff. I just remember her hating me then her not hating me.
To help you get to know Lindsey, I'm going to throw out some random and partially true facts about her. You can have fun guessing what is real.
Lindsey loves ducks. She likes them a lot more than normal people do. In fact one of her favorite birthday presents was a sparkly pink duck that her sister gave her. Sometimes I think that she should just marry a duck and then her life will be complete. It's perfectly normal though, don't go thinking she's crazy or anything. She totally isn't. She's totally normal. She just loves ducks.
Lindsey ALSO loves ladybugs. It is really fun to give her a ton of ladybugs and watch her react. She's just so happy to be covered in swarms of them. Trust me. She won't be mad at you, she's not grossed out by them or anything.
Lindsey decided once upon a time to spell her name Lyndsey instead. I don't know why she changed it back. It confused me very much in middle school because for a while I really wasn't sure how to spell it.
Lindsey likes to date crazy people. After she's done with the crazies, I openly hate them for the rest of their lives.
Lindsey is magical. This can be interpreted many different ways but I guarantee one of your interpretations is going to be correct.
Lindsey believes in unicorns just like I do! (I'm not alone! I knew I wasn't alone!)
Lindsey cannot cook. We tried to cook once and it went horribly, horribly wrong. This has lead to our habit of simply ordering food or myself cooking the food when we hang out. On New Year's Eve we stayed up late and ate Chinese food while we watched dumb and entertaining videos on Youtube. It was much better than us trying to do anything - we "tried" to make brownies and they got really gross and tasted bad. I still don't know what went wrong.
Lindsey is a professional ninja. I'm just kidding, of course. Coz if she were a ninja I wouldn't actually be able to tell you...there's that whole no one knows who are the real ninjas thing. Next time you're on the subway watch out, there could be a ninja watching you. That'd be rather terrifying wouldn't it?
Lindsey eats soap.
Lindsey hates mustard.
Lindsey doesn't like to wait for dumb people. She's the kind of person who will yell at you if you're taking too long to do something. Sometimes it's a little upsetting, especially if you're the person she's yelling at, but you just have to deal with it.
Lindsey is usually right when I ask her for advice about things.
And that is all I have to say for now about Lindsey. She is a very amusing person. If this keyboard worked a little better I would write a "Day In The Life Of" but maybe I'll edit that in later if I have time on the other computer that actually works.
See ya! (If you have questions for Lindsey you can leave them and I'll get them to her. Not that you will, but I mean in case you do.)
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Secret Meanings of Taylor Swift: Hey Stephen
You didn't know this before, but now you do: Taylor Swift songs are actually Stalker Songs. One of the best examples? Her song Hey Stephen, on her album Fearless. It fit perfectly at camp when we wanted to rewrite it into a song all about this lifeguard named Arthur that the ten-year-olds were in love with and followed around all day. Why? Because it's a natural stalker song...if you don't believe me, just look at the lyrics. I will reveal the hidden meaning to you with my pro analysis skills. (Keep in mind I have a year and a half of AP English under my belt.) But before that, let's get some background.
According to the interwebs, which frequently lie but are probably telling me the truth today, Taylor write this song about a singer named Stephen Barker Liles, whom she liked a lot once upon a time. Singer means everyone follows him around, loves him, and he gets lots of fan adoration. Granted Taylor is famous, and his band opened for her once so they definitely know each other. And she showed him the song once it was recorded. But. Um. I don't think he should have been honored - he should have run screaming from the studio. He was used, in the long line of men who have been the subjects of Taylor's songs. My mom once asked me, "How does she have that many guys to write songs about??" She moves around a lot. That's how. Also she writes about other peoples lives as well as her own. (Stalkerrr!)
Taylor's own description of the song runs as follows: "The song is actually about a guy who I had a crush on and never told him, so I wrote everything that I was thinking down in the song instead of telling him."
According to the interwebs, which frequently lie but are probably telling me the truth today, Taylor write this song about a singer named Stephen Barker Liles, whom she liked a lot once upon a time. Singer means everyone follows him around, loves him, and he gets lots of fan adoration. Granted Taylor is famous, and his band opened for her once so they definitely know each other. And she showed him the song once it was recorded. But. Um. I don't think he should have been honored - he should have run screaming from the studio. He was used, in the long line of men who have been the subjects of Taylor's songs. My mom once asked me, "How does she have that many guys to write songs about??" She moves around a lot. That's how. Also she writes about other peoples lives as well as her own. (Stalkerrr!)
Taylor's own description of the song runs as follows: "The song is actually about a guy who I had a crush on and never told him, so I wrote everything that I was thinking down in the song instead of telling him."
Now. Let's clarify. Yes, I'm aware that Taylor is capable of writing hit songs and going to number one on the charts just by releasing them. I know she has a huge fan following. And I know I don't have three best selling albums under my belt. I admire her ability to rise up in the world, because not everyone can do that. But I mean, really? If you actually look at the lyrics...yeah. No. Just. No. So don't leave comments saying "I'd like to see you write this many hit songs and get famous!" I will laugh at you for using the expression "get famous", and then I will write a post about how dumb you are, because I don't care! I'm doing this for my entertainment and the education of my readers. Not to say I'm better at being famous than Taylor Swift. (Though, I bet I would be...)
For clarity's sake, the lyrics to the song will be in italics & a color...we'll use pink. And my commentary will be normal.
Hey Stephen
Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you
So. Intro to the song. Looks are deceiving - does that mean he doesn't look like someone who she should normally go for? Is he a bad boy type who's dangerous? Or does it just seem that he has no idea who she is at all but she's telling herself that he may love her....? I think that's the case. It looks like he doesn't like her, but she's convincing herself that he might or does.
As we walked we were talking and I didn't say half the things I wanted to
Alright they know each other. This is better than her not knowing him at all. They've spoken, exchanged words. Clearly the entire time, Taylor was holding back on these proclamations of devotion that she wanted to share with him. She probably just smiled and nodded a lot. And looked cute, Taylor likes looking cute.
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold
Great! This is the perfect way to express your love to your dream boy! It even comes across a little bit initially as "I love you the mostest!" But um. It's pretty terrifying. Of all the girls who stalk you, follow you, fangirl over you, and say they love you, I am the most persistent! I WIN!!! It's like it's a contest for her, and she has to be the best at everything. Including stalking. Also, tossing rocks at windows has always sounded kind of dangerous to me. What if the rock broke the window? That could cause some problems. I bet Stephen pulled down the shade, closed the curtains, and turned on music to drown out the pebble shower on his window. Or if we're not taking this literally, he's probably hiding somewhere.
Hey Stephen, boy you might have me believing I don't always have to be alone.
That's so lovely and sweet. He might have her believing she doesn't always have to be alone? Because out of the huge group of girls who adore him, she's the one who will stalk him the most, love him the longest, etc. Also she's already convincing herself that they're in love, as we saw from line one. So clearly this belief that she doesn't always have to be alone stems from her delusions about him caring for her. (By the way, Taylor could just lift a finger and have any guy she wanted, she's a country singer who has a huge male fan following for her looks and lyrics.)
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
No, she really can't help it - nor can all the other girls who like him. I didn't know we were judging people on their appearances. My bad.
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Can you say cliché? Kissing in the rain is possibly the most stereotypical moment in a relationship and let me tell you it isn't always all it's cracked up to be. I had an ex once who I wanted to kiss in the rain, and he dropped me off home once but he wouldn't because he couldn't drive even though he was a junior in high school so his mom was watching and it was a super awkward not-really-a-kiss kiss, and I was devastated. Kissing in the rain is overrated and something girls like to dream about when they're building up a non-existant relationship in their heads.
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
So clearly there's magic here that she's feeling, she pretty much comes right out and says it. But she has to ask him to come and feel it. He doesn't feel the magic. He doesn't like her. There is no plainer way to say it, Taylor. This guy will probably never like you. I hate to be the one to break it to you. And even if he does, given your history with men, you'll probably be over him and on to the next obsession by the time he tells you about it.
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
This is ridiculous. She can't help it if she won't have feelings for anyone else? Taylor, by the time you released the song and were promoting it you didn't even like the guy anymore because you told him about it and showed it to him. You are not being devoted if you move on from your crush before you even release the song you wrote about him. It's very pointless. Of course you can't help yourself. You're a silly girl writing silly songs.
Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
So I've got some things to say to you
Yeah why exactly is she holding back this feeling? Because he doesn't like her, she knows it, and she's just being a silly little fangirl. Convincing herself that he'll love her and they'll be together forever and she's just so perfect for him.
I seen it all so I thought but I never seen nobody shine the way you do
Grammar has been thrown out the window for the sake of the song lyrics flowing, I'm sure. I'll excuse it with that because going into grammar right now would take me way too long and I still have this verse and a bridge to cover before I'm done. This might be the first part of the song with some substance. Only a little though. She think she's seen it all? Taylor Swift right now is what, twenty years old? And she was younger when she wrote the song. Awesome, by the time you're twenty you know everything and all your views are shaped and things can't change - or so she thought, until she met this Stephen character. And now she's complimenting him, because she's saying he shines. Yay! This might mean there's some depth to this song!
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
MY BAD! I thought she was going for substance and reality here but apparently it's still all about the physical appearance. The way he walks and talks and the way he says her name. Not, oh, I don't know, his personality, or his charitable efforts, or his life choices, or his family background. Because singers absolutely love it when people go for them merely because of their appearance. Ask any celeb. That's what they'll say!
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving
I think you and I should stay the same
This line, honestly, makes absolutely no sense. I don't understand it. It has nothing to do with the rest of the song, she's not even talking about him she's talking about other people. Why are people always leaving? Because reality is teen crushes don't always work out, people change, and grow, and live. And why would she want things to stay the same exactly? If he doesn't know about her feelings and will probably never like her, then I mean...why would she want that to stay the way it is? Yeah. That's what I thought.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
You know how I feel about the chorus at this point. What the heck, Taylor? That's all I have to say. You're making a goose out of yourself with this song. Expressing your love for a person who you're just going to move on from? At least wait until you're in a relationship to write a song about specific people instead of just ideas and stuff.
They're dimming the street lights
So it's nighttime now, we're establishing setting! This is something new!
You're perfect for me why aren't you here tonight?
Why isn't he there tonight, Taylor? Let's think about this. What have I been saying for the entirety of this song? This is ridiculous. You're a big girl you should know how these things work. Also, at this point he still has no idea how you feel in the first place because you haven't even tried to tell him. So you can't ask why he isn't there...
I'm waiting alone now so come on and come out and pull me near
Shine, shine, shine
This is sweet, you think to yourself. She just wants him to come out and be with her. Come out of where, his house? Look up at previous line, where she's throwing rocks at his window. Stalker. She's still stalking him, this line clearly implies that she's standing outside of his house waiting for him to notice her, come out, and work his magic. So effective, I applaud your logic.
Hey Stephen I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
Really? What are they, I'd love to know. So far all I've seen? Reasons why he's better off without you.
All those other girls, well they're beautiful but would they write a song for you
Well you know what Taylor Swift? I think they might very well write songs for him, they just aren't famous recording artists so they can't get them out there to show him. And maybe some of them aren't beautiful. And maybe some of them have depth and appreciate him for more than the way he walks.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
No. I'm done with this chorus, I hate it so much. Done.
Myself, can't help myself
I can't help myself.
Dear Taylor, I know you're a stalker, so please don't take this personally...
The reason this guy doesn't like you? You're kind of acting like a freak...
And for the record apparently when she showed him the song he was super flattered and all, because Taylor Swift wrote a song about him. He was probably too busy realizing she's such a "Great Girl" who is now over him that he didn't even notice all the creepy lines. Way to go, guy. Way to go.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I Don't Have Time To Waste On Bella
I sat down all excited to write you a post about Bella Swan and how much she irks me. But then I realized I have stuff to get done tonight and that post is going to take way too much time and effort right now. I'll work on it and get it to you when I have time, and the ability to focus. What am I supposed to be doing right now? Finishing a college supplement. Guess who would rather be posting in her blog than writing her college supplement...
Okay that's kind of a lie, I would really love to write the college supplement essays but they're so boring and I can't be all funny because they're about changing the world and I have to be serious so I can get into college and all that super important stuff that's going to impact the rest of my life. So I can't focus as a result. Terrible excuse, I know, but it's a side-effect of choosing not to be on ADD medication.
Therapy was supposed to help with that but we haven't really gotten anywhere strategy wise for dealing with the lack of focus business. I mean it's no big deal. I just stay up really late because I procrastinated, work better under pressure, can't seem to get anything done except escape games and bubble spinner, and gossip about other people. It's super productive. Just not...in a scholarly sort of way.
I have no idea what to write about in this post, I'm sorry it's so terrible. Tillie says I should write about penises. Peni? I don't know how to pluralize penis...But I really don't think that's an effective topic for a blog post. In fact, I'm almost certain it would scare some readers away and I want all my readers to stay. I'll wait til I've got you hooked then shock you later. By this time next year you will probably know my views on religion and politics and the existence of unicorns. (THEY'RE REAL, OKAY?)
You should probably just ignore this post, scroll down, and read about Jacob Black, Yoko Ono, or hopeless romantics. Or Josh working in the hospital. Any of them would be more entertaining than reading this. I'm only posting this because I'm trying to post once a day. And we all know how drizzly that can be. (I think we all do. Sorry if I'm making assumptions.)
I use parentheticals a lot. (I just noticed this.) (.....crap.) I don't know why. But they seem to be very useful for adding my side-thoughts into my posts without completely changing the subject, because as soon as the parenthetical is over, I can simply return to what I was talking about. One problem I'm never sure of however is punctuation. If I have a parenthetical at the end of a sentence, how do I punctuate? (Because see I could do it like this, after the question mark - but then do I just start a new sentence at the end of it?) And then another problem? What if the parenthetical comes at the end of a sentence (because we all know that happens). <<< Does the period go there???? I have NO clue. Parentheses confuse me. But I abuse them shamelessly. I suppose this is a character flaw. Please don't judge me too harshly.
I suppose that is it.
I will try not to disappoint you tomorrow.
Okay that's kind of a lie, I would really love to write the college supplement essays but they're so boring and I can't be all funny because they're about changing the world and I have to be serious so I can get into college and all that super important stuff that's going to impact the rest of my life. So I can't focus as a result. Terrible excuse, I know, but it's a side-effect of choosing not to be on ADD medication.
Therapy was supposed to help with that but we haven't really gotten anywhere strategy wise for dealing with the lack of focus business. I mean it's no big deal. I just stay up really late because I procrastinated, work better under pressure, can't seem to get anything done except escape games and bubble spinner, and gossip about other people. It's super productive. Just not...in a scholarly sort of way.
I have no idea what to write about in this post, I'm sorry it's so terrible. Tillie says I should write about penises. Peni? I don't know how to pluralize penis...But I really don't think that's an effective topic for a blog post. In fact, I'm almost certain it would scare some readers away and I want all my readers to stay. I'll wait til I've got you hooked then shock you later. By this time next year you will probably know my views on religion and politics and the existence of unicorns. (THEY'RE REAL, OKAY?)
You should probably just ignore this post, scroll down, and read about Jacob Black, Yoko Ono, or hopeless romantics. Or Josh working in the hospital. Any of them would be more entertaining than reading this. I'm only posting this because I'm trying to post once a day. And we all know how drizzly that can be. (I think we all do. Sorry if I'm making assumptions.)
I use parentheticals a lot. (I just noticed this.) (.....crap.) I don't know why. But they seem to be very useful for adding my side-thoughts into my posts without completely changing the subject, because as soon as the parenthetical is over, I can simply return to what I was talking about. One problem I'm never sure of however is punctuation. If I have a parenthetical at the end of a sentence, how do I punctuate? (Because see I could do it like this, after the question mark - but then do I just start a new sentence at the end of it?) And then another problem? What if the parenthetical comes at the end of a sentence (because we all know that happens). <<< Does the period go there???? I have NO clue. Parentheses confuse me. But I abuse them shamelessly. I suppose this is a character flaw. Please don't judge me too harshly.
I suppose that is it.
I will try not to disappoint you tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Battle of the Hopeless Romantic
Once upon a time there was a little girl who didn't feel like doing schoolwork and wanted to write a blog post instead. So she sat down to try to write something that would be funny, but all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and take a very, very long nap. So she settled for something in between, because anything is better than doing classwork, right?
(Just a disclaimer, in case my teacher ever reads this, I am sooo caught up in my work right now that it doesn't even matter.)
I called this post Battle of the Hopeless Romantic because I thought today I could talk about what it means to be a hopeless romantic. Sometimes I think it is a disease that I am inflicted with, and I just need the magic antidote and I'll be fine. I know a boy who expresses zero emotion and makes fun of me when I talk about my feelings too much. I don't really understand him for this. All I want is a romantic gesture every now and again. Granted, he does give them to me - he does/says the sweetest things. But. All said and done, I will always be expecting something bigger or better or more fantastic.
And now there's some kid sitting at the computer next to me so I feel awkward writing about being a romantic. Damn. I'm going to hit return a lot and then write again so if he's a nosy jerk who's going to try to read this he won't get to see anything.
.
There. Sorry for the multitude of space up there. If you'd like, you can imagine that it's a picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm. I will even go back up and put a little dot you can imagine is his nose. There. Imagine that's the polar bear's nose.
Well. My plans for talking about being a romantic have been shattered. I am going to have to think of something else to talk about. Which might be better anyway becuase I mean really, no one actually wants to read about my life. They'd rather listen to me complain about things. So today I will turn my attention to something that has alays bothered me and probably always will bother me. Celebrity marriages. To quote Donkey from the movie Shrek (which I don't like and will never like), "They never last."
Some of them DO LAST. Okay? It's the ones with problems that get splashed all over the tabloids. Because those sell. Because there's this silly condition in our world where we simply want to hear about other peoples' problems. And it bothers me. I sometimes wish I could just erase tabloids, but then I'd have nothing to amuse me at the doctor's office.
Just kidding. I'm going to talk about Josh. He's telling me about his experiences at the hospital. He was watching a beligerent old man last night. He (Josh) works there. And he was watching this guy, who they all said was "pleasantly confused" but he was apparently not pleasant at all, in fact he was mean. And he (the old guy) wanted to get up. And Josh had to make sure he didn't get up because he'd hurt his foot. But he was being really dumb about it and kept trying to get up. He said he wanted cigarettes, just had to have "smokes". And actually asked Josh for a ride up town to get cigarettes, and asked if Josh smoked. He's in a HOSPITAL. You don't smoke in a hospital.
So that went on for eight hours. It was terrible, Josh said. At 7:30 one of the nurses went in and said he could go home, and then he was a mile away and got called back to watch the same patient. Who didn't remember who Josh was. He thought he was at church where he worked but he was at the hospital and tomorrow he's going to "fire" Josh. Same encounter again, cigarettes and everything.
And then towards 11:00, there's this thing called sundowners where when the sun starts to set elderly people get less all-there and mentally healthy. So he forgot who Josh was again, and was confused and thought he was someone he already knew and that he was home, so he was really nice all of a sudden! Yay! And then yeah.
And then someone came in to watch him for nightshift and Josh said, "Have fun." And he was gone. These are the reasons why I could never, ever work at a hospital. I think I'd have yelled at the man and stormed out. I have zero patience.
That is my story. Actually Josh's story. I hope it entertained you. I basically typed it exactly as he said it out loud but changed the pronouns and I ignord this awkward part about how the guy kept having to go to the bathroom, but wasn't supposed to b/c of some medical term I don't remember but made sense at the time. (Josh left to go back to class. I'm now alone again. And bored.)
This post had nothing to do with romantics. I'm sorry if you were looking forward to that. But you did get to hear a story about a "pleasantly confused" man. And about how much tabloids lie. Because they only talk about what people want to hear...Actually I should expand on that in a later post. I could do it now but I don't really feel like it, because I've probably made you read enough by now.
Toodles!
(Just a disclaimer, in case my teacher ever reads this, I am sooo caught up in my work right now that it doesn't even matter.)
I called this post Battle of the Hopeless Romantic because I thought today I could talk about what it means to be a hopeless romantic. Sometimes I think it is a disease that I am inflicted with, and I just need the magic antidote and I'll be fine. I know a boy who expresses zero emotion and makes fun of me when I talk about my feelings too much. I don't really understand him for this. All I want is a romantic gesture every now and again. Granted, he does give them to me - he does/says the sweetest things. But. All said and done, I will always be expecting something bigger or better or more fantastic.
And now there's some kid sitting at the computer next to me so I feel awkward writing about being a romantic. Damn. I'm going to hit return a lot and then write again so if he's a nosy jerk who's going to try to read this he won't get to see anything.
.
There. Sorry for the multitude of space up there. If you'd like, you can imagine that it's a picture of a polar bear in a snowstorm. I will even go back up and put a little dot you can imagine is his nose. There. Imagine that's the polar bear's nose.
Well. My plans for talking about being a romantic have been shattered. I am going to have to think of something else to talk about. Which might be better anyway becuase I mean really, no one actually wants to read about my life. They'd rather listen to me complain about things. So today I will turn my attention to something that has alays bothered me and probably always will bother me. Celebrity marriages. To quote Donkey from the movie Shrek (which I don't like and will never like), "They never last."
Some of them DO LAST. Okay? It's the ones with problems that get splashed all over the tabloids. Because those sell. Because there's this silly condition in our world where we simply want to hear about other peoples' problems. And it bothers me. I sometimes wish I could just erase tabloids, but then I'd have nothing to amuse me at the doctor's office.
Just kidding. I'm going to talk about Josh. He's telling me about his experiences at the hospital. He was watching a beligerent old man last night. He (Josh) works there. And he was watching this guy, who they all said was "pleasantly confused" but he was apparently not pleasant at all, in fact he was mean. And he (the old guy) wanted to get up. And Josh had to make sure he didn't get up because he'd hurt his foot. But he was being really dumb about it and kept trying to get up. He said he wanted cigarettes, just had to have "smokes". And actually asked Josh for a ride up town to get cigarettes, and asked if Josh smoked. He's in a HOSPITAL. You don't smoke in a hospital.
So that went on for eight hours. It was terrible, Josh said. At 7:30 one of the nurses went in and said he could go home, and then he was a mile away and got called back to watch the same patient. Who didn't remember who Josh was. He thought he was at church where he worked but he was at the hospital and tomorrow he's going to "fire" Josh. Same encounter again, cigarettes and everything.
And then towards 11:00, there's this thing called sundowners where when the sun starts to set elderly people get less all-there and mentally healthy. So he forgot who Josh was again, and was confused and thought he was someone he already knew and that he was home, so he was really nice all of a sudden! Yay! And then yeah.
And then someone came in to watch him for nightshift and Josh said, "Have fun." And he was gone. These are the reasons why I could never, ever work at a hospital. I think I'd have yelled at the man and stormed out. I have zero patience.
That is my story. Actually Josh's story. I hope it entertained you. I basically typed it exactly as he said it out loud but changed the pronouns and I ignord this awkward part about how the guy kept having to go to the bathroom, but wasn't supposed to b/c of some medical term I don't remember but made sense at the time. (Josh left to go back to class. I'm now alone again. And bored.)
This post had nothing to do with romantics. I'm sorry if you were looking forward to that. But you did get to hear a story about a "pleasantly confused" man. And about how much tabloids lie. Because they only talk about what people want to hear...Actually I should expand on that in a later post. I could do it now but I don't really feel like it, because I've probably made you read enough by now.
Toodles!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Dear Wireless Internet
Dear Wireless Internet,
How dare you? You cop out at all the wrong times - when I'm in the middle of compulsively refreshing my stats page to see if anyone is actually reading this blog, when I'm in the middle of an important discussion that needs to be taken seriously and then the other person thinks I'm mad at them, when I'm working on a deadline, when I'm trying to do my college supplements (because I haven't finished all of those yet...go me!)
But today - today was the worst, and I'm afraid you have no excuse. Today has convinced me that you are in fact out to get me, and nothing I can say or do will fix this relationship. I am sitting at the dining room table. No more than two yards away from the modem for the internet. And then I become aware of a problem. My stats page isn't loading. Nor is my friend responding in my conversation.
What could the deal be?? Twitter isn't working either, so I retreat into crisis mode. And then I see it - the telltale red x down at the bottom right of the screen next to the battery icon. The wireless is malfunctioning. But I am so. Close. To. The. Modem. There is NO way it could be any kind of a connection error. Because it's RIGHT THERE.
Oh wireless, why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you? Aside from this one angry post I have never been mean to you, usually I try to be patient with you when you have your senior moments. I know you've been our modem for years now but that's no excuse for breaking on me. Because see the thing is, I need you to survive. Internet is my connection to the world. I'm not so sure I'll be okay if you break. Or else I'll just have to start spending a lot more time at the library.
So please, Wireless, stop malfunctioning and just give me my internet...
Love,
Margaret
How dare you? You cop out at all the wrong times - when I'm in the middle of compulsively refreshing my stats page to see if anyone is actually reading this blog, when I'm in the middle of an important discussion that needs to be taken seriously and then the other person thinks I'm mad at them, when I'm working on a deadline, when I'm trying to do my college supplements (because I haven't finished all of those yet...go me!)
But today - today was the worst, and I'm afraid you have no excuse. Today has convinced me that you are in fact out to get me, and nothing I can say or do will fix this relationship. I am sitting at the dining room table. No more than two yards away from the modem for the internet. And then I become aware of a problem. My stats page isn't loading. Nor is my friend responding in my conversation.
What could the deal be?? Twitter isn't working either, so I retreat into crisis mode. And then I see it - the telltale red x down at the bottom right of the screen next to the battery icon. The wireless is malfunctioning. But I am so. Close. To. The. Modem. There is NO way it could be any kind of a connection error. Because it's RIGHT THERE.
Oh wireless, why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you? Aside from this one angry post I have never been mean to you, usually I try to be patient with you when you have your senior moments. I know you've been our modem for years now but that's no excuse for breaking on me. Because see the thing is, I need you to survive. Internet is my connection to the world. I'm not so sure I'll be okay if you break. Or else I'll just have to start spending a lot more time at the library.
So please, Wireless, stop malfunctioning and just give me my internet...
Love,
Margaret
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