So guess what guys??? I'm leaving to go to New Orleans at 2:15 today! A group of students from my school is going to go down to do service work and help doing restoration work, which super excites me. But that means I'll be away from the Blog-world for 8 ish days. Oh no, you say, what will I do without your hilarious and uplifting blog posts?
Well I have the answer - never fear! For the time I am gone, I'm going to set up as many posts to put up automatically (because you can do that on Wordpress) as I can! Which means whatever I have time to write during English class (because I'm done the notecards) and Senior Project (when I'm done my journal). So I'm not honestly sure how many I'll do but I'm just going to pick a topic and write about it.
So when posts start showing up on my blog, don't be like OHMYGOD she's HERE! Because I'm not. I'm definitely in New Orleans doing super awesome service work. You just think I'm here because I'm super. Sneaky. You know it.
So until next Friday, ttfn, ta ta for now!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Memorable Grammy Moments
1. Diva Scream Off at the end of the Aretha Franklin tribute. Ladies, this is a tribute, not "Listen to meeee!"
2. Christina Aguilera does not forget the words.
3. Aretha reacts...graciously, with a hint of "Oh No You Didn't."
4. I get angry watching the Jennifer Hudson commercial.
5. Train wins an award for Hey Soul Sister, perhaps the most incredible and annoyingly catchy song every to exist.
6. Lady Gaga acts like every other artist instead of doing something new and original - maybe it was to match her "new and original" song?
7. I realize I am not being mean or snarky enough in my comments.
8. Blake Shelton announces his fiance, Miranda Lambert, in a far too cute and cuddly and scripted moment that could have been perfect.
9. I do not know who Lenny Kravitz is. I fail.
10. Muse has super cool screen effects.
11. I debate the Best New Artist nominees with my brother. Could I be having sympathy for JBiebz? Shoot me now.
12. I discover Janelle Manae. And I actually really like her.
13. She crowd surfs and loses cool points.
14. Miranda Lambert wins an award she completely deserves, but doesn't mention her fiance in her speech. That's payback.
15. We relive the "memorable" meeting of Justin Bieber and Usher.
16. Justin Bieber sings with his mentor, Usher. And I don't understand a bit of it.
17. Lady Gaga beats Justin Bieber, and all is right with the world.
18. Lady Antebellum: Tight Pants. The entire group is in skinny jeans. I have mixed feelings about this.
19. Miley Cyrus is deemed deserving of a moment on stage with the members of Kings of Leon. At least she 20. didn't come onstage with Justin Bieber - the teenagers wouldn't have been able to handle themselves.
21. Cee Lo Green is once again censored, and people are making more jokes about "Forget" instead of an F-bomb.
22. Gwyneth Paltrow and Cee Lo Green together? Oh boy. Didn't he...not like her song on Glee?
23. Cee Lo Green beats out Lady Gaga for Best Costume of the Night.
24. He also wins for Best Puppets.
25. Michael Jackson's music unites us, according to the Wii.
26. Neil Patrick Harris announce stuff. This is memorable because NPH is amazing. And he makes awkward comments.
27. Katy Perry demonstrates the meaning of juxtaposition! Song about eventually finding someone but not yet - and wedding clips! Yay! It was another attempt to be sweet and corny - the second of the night. Will we get a good one? Who knows.
28. I need a second bullet to go...wtf.
29. Katy Perry was not very good live.
30. So far the best singers have been country/indie/folk. Norah Jones, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, I am so sensing a theme here.
31. Cee Lo Green should have been song of the year, but. But. Oh well.
32. I'm learning so many things from the commercials - Survivor is still on TV? What?
33. Seth Rogen will always be the funniest guy ever.
34. People are still talking about Miley smoking? hahaha.
35. Rhianna got dressed in the dark then walked into a giant rotating fan. Or got attacked by a swarm of birds.
36. Adam Levine should probably not be playing piano for Rhianna he should be singing.
37. Rhianna's hair actually catches on fire! She asked for it...
38. The camera guy is like falling over trying to get this shot...
39. Eminem is always badass. Always.
40. I don't understand why I love this song, the message is so bad. But I love it.
41. All of Eminem's songs continue to sound the same. And no matter how badass he is, they will always sound exactly the same.
42. Eminem thinks he's black, once again.
43. Jewel pretends to be a country singer, as well as pretty. She is neither.
44. Best New Artist goes to.....Esperanza Spaulding!! Thank goodness, someone actually talented instead of Justin Bieber. Though I would have been happy with either Mumford & Sons or Florence & the Machine winning.
45. I realize I am the only person in the universe who has actually heard of Esperanza Spaulding.
46. Matthew Morrison pretends to be super fly. He manages to sound stupid. As usual.
47. There is a long speech that no one will remember tomorrow.
48. We remember passed musicians. Once again, something not everyone will remember. The quality of this montage will go down so much in like fifty years when people like Bieber and Miley start dying.
49. The list is so long it needs two "moments"
50. I wait with baited breath for Kesha to crash the stage while Mick Jagger sings.
51. I get very tired when I stay up this late.
52. I debate going to bed now and skipping the rest of the show.
53. I make the hard choice to stay up.
54. Who is he announcing...?
55. I LOVE BARBRA STREISAND. I take a minute to do a dance of happiness, and I'm glad I stayed up.
56. Alex's twitter feed informs me that Adam Lambert is not performing. This dims my happiness a little.
57. My arms hurt, and I realize that it is soon time for me to depart to bed.
58. The Grammy Awards performs a truly atrocious crime - putting Nicki Minaj on stage right after the incredible Ms. Streisand. What the hell?
59. She talks. My brain dies.
60. Literally, I can feel the brain cells going as we speak.
61. Is that a symbol of the Deathly Hallows I see Eminem wearing? No, it isn't. But I got excited for a minute.
62. I get excited because Nicki Minaj is done talking. Forever? Please? She can also stop trying to be Lady Gaga. Seriously.
63. Eminem is still so badass.
64. I take a moment to question: What happened to the distribution of most of these awards? They're done off-air. There are too many songs. Cut the medleys.
65. I forgot Puff Daddy existed. And apparently he can't talk.
66. This show keeps getting longer, and they let Rhianna sing again??? What the hell is she wearing, too?
67. Rhianna looks like she got vagazzled. Or however you spell that.
68. Twitter informs me that I'm really dumb, because Puff Daddy and P-Diddy are the same person. I didn't forget he existed I just forgot his second name.
69. JLo and Marc Anthony actually look cute up there. Third time's the charm. I'm getting the "Let's look like you're not stoned" vibe.
70. "(The song otherwise known as "Forget You")"
71. Lady Antebellum wins....again. I still think it shoulda gone to Cee Lo.
72. It isn't even that good, it's a booty call song.
73. I realize it is after 11 and the show is still not over. I get pissed.
74. I wonder who will still be reading this?
75. Somewhere in the audience, someone with epilepsy dies. Somewhere in the United States, everyone watching the Grammys with epilepsy falls on the floor thrashing. Arcade Fire.
76. I decide to go to bed and stop updating the blog until tomorrow.
77. I dance.
78. I am distracted by people screaming and running on the TV commercial.
79. Simon Baker is a cutie patootie.
80. FINALLY. Album of the Year. Finally. Time to go to bed.
81. Epileptics everywhere are pissed off.
82. Goodnight, blog! I love you if you're reading this. <3 Leave a comment and I'll write something special about you tomorrow.
2. Christina Aguilera does not forget the words.
3. Aretha reacts...graciously, with a hint of "Oh No You Didn't."
4. I get angry watching the Jennifer Hudson commercial.
5. Train wins an award for Hey Soul Sister, perhaps the most incredible and annoyingly catchy song every to exist.
6. Lady Gaga acts like every other artist instead of doing something new and original - maybe it was to match her "new and original" song?
7. I realize I am not being mean or snarky enough in my comments.
8. Blake Shelton announces his fiance, Miranda Lambert, in a far too cute and cuddly and scripted moment that could have been perfect.
9. I do not know who Lenny Kravitz is. I fail.
10. Muse has super cool screen effects.
11. I debate the Best New Artist nominees with my brother. Could I be having sympathy for JBiebz? Shoot me now.
12. I discover Janelle Manae. And I actually really like her.
13. She crowd surfs and loses cool points.
14. Miranda Lambert wins an award she completely deserves, but doesn't mention her fiance in her speech. That's payback.
15. We relive the "memorable" meeting of Justin Bieber and Usher.
16. Justin Bieber sings with his mentor, Usher. And I don't understand a bit of it.
17. Lady Gaga beats Justin Bieber, and all is right with the world.
18. Lady Antebellum: Tight Pants. The entire group is in skinny jeans. I have mixed feelings about this.
19. Miley Cyrus is deemed deserving of a moment on stage with the members of Kings of Leon. At least she 20. didn't come onstage with Justin Bieber - the teenagers wouldn't have been able to handle themselves.
21. Cee Lo Green is once again censored, and people are making more jokes about "Forget" instead of an F-bomb.
22. Gwyneth Paltrow and Cee Lo Green together? Oh boy. Didn't he...not like her song on Glee?
23. Cee Lo Green beats out Lady Gaga for Best Costume of the Night.
24. He also wins for Best Puppets.
25. Michael Jackson's music unites us, according to the Wii.
26. Neil Patrick Harris announce stuff. This is memorable because NPH is amazing. And he makes awkward comments.
27. Katy Perry demonstrates the meaning of juxtaposition! Song about eventually finding someone but not yet - and wedding clips! Yay! It was another attempt to be sweet and corny - the second of the night. Will we get a good one? Who knows.
28. I need a second bullet to go...wtf.
29. Katy Perry was not very good live.
30. So far the best singers have been country/indie/folk. Norah Jones, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, I am so sensing a theme here.
31. Cee Lo Green should have been song of the year, but. But. Oh well.
32. I'm learning so many things from the commercials - Survivor is still on TV? What?
33. Seth Rogen will always be the funniest guy ever.
34. People are still talking about Miley smoking? hahaha.
35. Rhianna got dressed in the dark then walked into a giant rotating fan. Or got attacked by a swarm of birds.
36. Adam Levine should probably not be playing piano for Rhianna he should be singing.
37. Rhianna's hair actually catches on fire! She asked for it...
38. The camera guy is like falling over trying to get this shot...
39. Eminem is always badass. Always.
40. I don't understand why I love this song, the message is so bad. But I love it.
41. All of Eminem's songs continue to sound the same. And no matter how badass he is, they will always sound exactly the same.
42. Eminem thinks he's black, once again.
43. Jewel pretends to be a country singer, as well as pretty. She is neither.
44. Best New Artist goes to.....Esperanza Spaulding!! Thank goodness, someone actually talented instead of Justin Bieber. Though I would have been happy with either Mumford & Sons or Florence & the Machine winning.
45. I realize I am the only person in the universe who has actually heard of Esperanza Spaulding.
46. Matthew Morrison pretends to be super fly. He manages to sound stupid. As usual.
47. There is a long speech that no one will remember tomorrow.
48. We remember passed musicians. Once again, something not everyone will remember. The quality of this montage will go down so much in like fifty years when people like Bieber and Miley start dying.
49. The list is so long it needs two "moments"
50. I wait with baited breath for Kesha to crash the stage while Mick Jagger sings.
51. I get very tired when I stay up this late.
52. I debate going to bed now and skipping the rest of the show.
53. I make the hard choice to stay up.
54. Who is he announcing...?
55. I LOVE BARBRA STREISAND. I take a minute to do a dance of happiness, and I'm glad I stayed up.
56. Alex's twitter feed informs me that Adam Lambert is not performing. This dims my happiness a little.
57. My arms hurt, and I realize that it is soon time for me to depart to bed.
58. The Grammy Awards performs a truly atrocious crime - putting Nicki Minaj on stage right after the incredible Ms. Streisand. What the hell?
59. She talks. My brain dies.
60. Literally, I can feel the brain cells going as we speak.
61. Is that a symbol of the Deathly Hallows I see Eminem wearing? No, it isn't. But I got excited for a minute.
62. I get excited because Nicki Minaj is done talking. Forever? Please? She can also stop trying to be Lady Gaga. Seriously.
63. Eminem is still so badass.
64. I take a moment to question: What happened to the distribution of most of these awards? They're done off-air. There are too many songs. Cut the medleys.
65. I forgot Puff Daddy existed. And apparently he can't talk.
66. This show keeps getting longer, and they let Rhianna sing again??? What the hell is she wearing, too?
67. Rhianna looks like she got vagazzled. Or however you spell that.
68. Twitter informs me that I'm really dumb, because Puff Daddy and P-Diddy are the same person. I didn't forget he existed I just forgot his second name.
69. JLo and Marc Anthony actually look cute up there. Third time's the charm. I'm getting the "Let's look like you're not stoned" vibe.
70. "(The song otherwise known as "Forget You")"
71. Lady Antebellum wins....again. I still think it shoulda gone to Cee Lo.
72. It isn't even that good, it's a booty call song.
73. I realize it is after 11 and the show is still not over. I get pissed.
74. I wonder who will still be reading this?
75. Somewhere in the audience, someone with epilepsy dies. Somewhere in the United States, everyone watching the Grammys with epilepsy falls on the floor thrashing. Arcade Fire.
76. I decide to go to bed and stop updating the blog until tomorrow.
77. I dance.
78. I am distracted by people screaming and running on the TV commercial.
79. Simon Baker is a cutie patootie.
80. FINALLY. Album of the Year. Finally. Time to go to bed.
81. Epileptics everywhere are pissed off.
82. Goodnight, blog! I love you if you're reading this. <3 Leave a comment and I'll write something special about you tomorrow.
The Grammy Awards
TONIGHT I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A TREAT! I'm going to be live-updating my post tonight as I watch the Grammy awards and try to do my homework at the same time. You get my opinions on everything, as it happens. I'll update either after awards/performances, or else during commercial breaks. As in, I'll hit publish and re-go-in to edit SO YOU CAN READ!
And may I just start out by saying I love Aretha Franklin to bits, and I have NO idea who LL Cooljay is. Or whatever his name is. But he's complimenting Aretha so it's okay. (Aretha has won eighteen Grammy awards??? HOLY CRAP she's TALENTED.)
And who is the very first singer going to be? AHHH awesome singers!!! I'm super freaking excited. This is going to kick. Ass. Grammy Awards, I love you so. And I hope Christina doesn't mess up the words to the song... She'd better try really hard. Too hard.
------
Can I just say I love Florence & the Machine SO much? And I thought she did amazingly with Think. And all of these ladies were great. I think it's really nice that they're paying tribute to Aretha, and that they got amazing artists from all different genres, to really reach everybody. Yay. I think the night is off to a fantastic start. Oh my goodness. The problem is I'm not going to know or like half of the artists/songs/nominations. So prepare for cynicism and sarcastic wit galore. And HOORAY ARETHA IS ON THE TV!!! <3 She's an amazing woman and I'm so glad she's doing better. Except I'm getting the "Why did you do that" vibe from her. But I mean. She has the right. And it was still sweet. And I'm just excited so I mean, right now I'm just sitting here smiling.
Lady Gaga is coming up next!! Oh my goodness I'm excited. There are so many exciting artists coming up - I can't wait for Lady Gaga, Cee Lo Green, Katy Perry...oh my goodness. Okay. Commercial break, time to update! (Also. If I have to see this "It's a New Day" commercial one more time someone is going to die.)
------
Don't Stop Believin is nominated. Oh my god. Glee all the way, go Glee!
Misery - Maroon Five - LOVE MAROON 5. <3
The Only Exception - Paramore. Hate them.Can't stand Hayley Williams or whatever her name is.
Babyfather - Sade. Don't even know who they are. Does anyone know who they are and what they sing?
Hey Soul Sister - Train. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Oh my god I want three of the five nominees to win.
YAY TRAIN!!!! SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU SO DESERVE THIS! This song gets blasted in the car, turned on all the time, I'm absolutely in love with dancing to it. Yay. Now it'll be played even MORE on the radio! And I love the whole "Thank You Justin Bieber" bit. Except his hair is a mess. Why can't he just shave it like his drummer.
Lady Gaga is going to perform her new song now. Oh my god. I'm kind of excited. I am not so sure how I feel about this song, but I'm still excited. And she's in... a futeristic caterpillar cocoon? Or a space ship? No idea. Space ship I think. I like her outfit though - specially the jacket. What is up with her shoulders? This is very...stream of consciousness. I'm just going to wait and update when I'm done watching the show.
Also I think it's really dumb that people are complaining that this song sounds like Madonna's Express Yourself. So many songs sound like other songs but nobody complains because it isn't Lady Gaga and they're not trying to tear other artists down as much. Gaga is pretty incredible. And the dancing is great. The outfits are pretty cool too, though I'm not so sure my mother approves. She made a face and walked out.
That piano playing was pretty epic. Kinda made me think Phantom of the Opera. Not sure why. ....why did everyone just take their body suits off? They all look naked. And my 11 year old sister is watching this. I'm so confused.
I love Gaga. I'm not so sure I'm totally caught up in her Monster craze, nor do I understand exactly why she does the things she does. For attention maybe? I've been told she created the character of Lady Gaga because they didn't think she'd be famous otherwise. Well. Now she's famous! But I mean. Every time she does anything it's like she has to be more and more extreme and I'm honestly not sure how I feel. Eventually she's got to crash. Not that I'm looking forward to it.
------
I'm afraid I'm not being mean enough. This post is like, all squealing so far. So I need to really sit back and look at things from a blogger's perspective. It's going to be interesting. Maybe.
------
Blake Shelton! Aww he's announcing Miranda Lambert, that's so cute. And Miranda's song has been nominated of course. Aww. This is just too much cute. A little too much cute. Very corny. I'm not sure how I think the Grammys are going to be. But that song she's singing - it's one of the songs I love that always strikes a note with me. She's incredible, her songs. I remember when she was brand new to the country music scene and my sister loved her. She actually has talent - no effects or crazy anything needed. She's just singing so simply and beautifully and honestly. Now if only someone else had announced her. (Though...okay...it was cute. And I'm absolutely a sucker for cute things. It felt a little...abbreviated though.)
------
I feel like a bad person for not knowing who this guy is who's won four Grammy awards. Lenny Kravitz - but it's okay because he's announcing Muse, who I do know. And this will be interesting. I like them.
I love the way the stage is set up, and the way the dancers are working. And that screen is so cool. See, the fun thing about the Grammy awards is that not only do you get to see crazy people, but you get to see some pretty cool staging and stuff. I'm not sure how I feel about the violence/fight/dancing on the stage. But it's kind of cool. Like. Very modern and interpretive. I think. What's up with the bank? Clearly I do not understand what this song is about - what do fighting duos and banks have to do with each other? Who will be victorious, Egypt? (They so were.)
-------
Okay so my brother and I are having a discussion about Justin Bieber being nominated for Best New Artist - and I don't know what I think. I mean, I know he came from nothing to being an international superstar. Which is impressive. And not everyone can do that. But little bro's favorite band (more musically talented) Mumford & Sons is also nominated, and I understand what he's saying when he says he expects M&S to win, but honestly I kinda figure JBiebz will. Just because he's...THE it thing right now. Though I am not sure even how I feel about THAT....life is complicated when stars are involved.
-------
Oh no. What's going on right now, who's singing? This is going to be interesting. I love Bruno Mars. Though that whole cocaine thing - really? Everyone's making a huge stink. We'll save my drug rants for later. This trio sounds like it could be interesting. Though the second "medley" of the night? (Even though it's already a song that two of them sing together) I'm really hesitant. It just feels...idk. Like they're trying to smush so many people into this show at once. And the lady is barely singing, I already forget her name....
But I like how they're splitting up the three. And Bruno Mars will never stop impressing me, he's so diverse and incredible.And I actually really like this Janelle girl's outfit. Her hair? A little too much like Nicki Minaj for my liking. Who I can't stand. But I like the way they're singing their songs - the style is so dated, and it sounds really cool. And oh my god she's crowd surfing? What the heck. Who...crowd surfs...at the Grammy awards? Okay that just...no. Nope. No way.
-------
Zac Brown and Dierks Bentley? Country Music!!! Love it.
Okay. Female country vocal.
Satisfied - Jewel wtf since when does she even sing country music... no way.
The House that Built Me - Miranda Lambert - her performance was incredible.
Swingin' - LeAnn Rimes - Never heard it. But I've heard of LeAnn Rimes.
Temporary Home - Carrie Underwood - Love Carrie, but it's like... this is another house song and I like the other "Home" song better.
I'd Love to be your Last - Gretchen Wilson - She was a fad. She's done.
YES okay Miranda SO deserved to win. She was incredible singing. The song is emotional and wonderful.
Wow so far the Grammys aren't as bad as I thought they were going to be.
------
What the heck, why is the meeting of Justin Bieber and Usher memorable?? I don't understand this. I don't really care. I really couldn't care less. I know people who can sing better than him. Who deserve to be famous now.
And this is really, really corny. I can't....no I can't even watch the dialogue between them. That was painfully scripted and very corny. And I don't understand the craze for JBiebz, I really don't. And...wtf is all of this? This song is horrible. The acrobatics are actually really cool - but I can't stand this song. It's the most obnoxious thing ever. And he needs to fix his collar, dammit!
I love the cuts to the proud parents as they watch their daughter sing with Justin Bieber. Yay famous peoples' children getting recording contracts left and right!
I changed my mind. I'm really not liking the Grammys so far. This is just getting annoying. I guess most people like watching Usher and Justin sing together? I didn't. At all. Didn't do it for me. And now I need to do my homework, or else Mumsy will be like AHH TV OFF. No way.
I can't stand Paramore. But I love Piper. So I'm excited for this award.
Best Rock Album:
Emotion and Commotion - Jeff Beck
The Resistance - Muse
Backspacer - Pearl Jam
Mojo - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
La Noise - Neil Young
Yay Muse! Getting to sing and then getting to win! Though I was kind of hoping for Pearl Jam, I have some fond memories singing to their songs, though I used to not know who they are because a long time ago I only ever listened to country music. And I like their speech but it doesn't sound very prepared - I don't think they were expecting to win this... haha. But they got it! Yay!
------
I hope Gaga beats Bieber. I don't want Susan Boyle to win....she annoys me.
YAY LADY GAGA!!!! You definitely needed this award. Not like, needed it. But yay you deserved it. Your music is incredible.
Okay this post is going horribly. I'm going to stop updating live and make snarky comments on Twitter instead, and write a "review" of the show tomorrow or later tonight. Because I have to do homework and put pictures online so I can commemorate my amazing Boston trip yesterday.
And may I just start out by saying I love Aretha Franklin to bits, and I have NO idea who LL Cooljay is. Or whatever his name is. But he's complimenting Aretha so it's okay. (Aretha has won eighteen Grammy awards??? HOLY CRAP she's TALENTED.)
And who is the very first singer going to be? AHHH awesome singers!!! I'm super freaking excited. This is going to kick. Ass. Grammy Awards, I love you so. And I hope Christina doesn't mess up the words to the song... She'd better try really hard. Too hard.
------
Can I just say I love Florence & the Machine SO much? And I thought she did amazingly with Think. And all of these ladies were great. I think it's really nice that they're paying tribute to Aretha, and that they got amazing artists from all different genres, to really reach everybody. Yay. I think the night is off to a fantastic start. Oh my goodness. The problem is I'm not going to know or like half of the artists/songs/nominations. So prepare for cynicism and sarcastic wit galore. And HOORAY ARETHA IS ON THE TV!!! <3 She's an amazing woman and I'm so glad she's doing better. Except I'm getting the "Why did you do that" vibe from her. But I mean. She has the right. And it was still sweet. And I'm just excited so I mean, right now I'm just sitting here smiling.
Lady Gaga is coming up next!! Oh my goodness I'm excited. There are so many exciting artists coming up - I can't wait for Lady Gaga, Cee Lo Green, Katy Perry...oh my goodness. Okay. Commercial break, time to update! (Also. If I have to see this "It's a New Day" commercial one more time someone is going to die.)
------
Don't Stop Believin is nominated. Oh my god. Glee all the way, go Glee!
Misery - Maroon Five - LOVE MAROON 5. <3
The Only Exception - Paramore. Hate them.Can't stand Hayley Williams or whatever her name is.
Babyfather - Sade. Don't even know who they are. Does anyone know who they are and what they sing?
Hey Soul Sister - Train. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Oh my god I want three of the five nominees to win.
YAY TRAIN!!!! SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU SO DESERVE THIS! This song gets blasted in the car, turned on all the time, I'm absolutely in love with dancing to it. Yay. Now it'll be played even MORE on the radio! And I love the whole "Thank You Justin Bieber" bit. Except his hair is a mess. Why can't he just shave it like his drummer.
Lady Gaga is going to perform her new song now. Oh my god. I'm kind of excited. I am not so sure how I feel about this song, but I'm still excited. And she's in... a futeristic caterpillar cocoon? Or a space ship? No idea. Space ship I think. I like her outfit though - specially the jacket. What is up with her shoulders? This is very...stream of consciousness. I'm just going to wait and update when I'm done watching the show.
Also I think it's really dumb that people are complaining that this song sounds like Madonna's Express Yourself. So many songs sound like other songs but nobody complains because it isn't Lady Gaga and they're not trying to tear other artists down as much. Gaga is pretty incredible. And the dancing is great. The outfits are pretty cool too, though I'm not so sure my mother approves. She made a face and walked out.
That piano playing was pretty epic. Kinda made me think Phantom of the Opera. Not sure why. ....why did everyone just take their body suits off? They all look naked. And my 11 year old sister is watching this. I'm so confused.
I love Gaga. I'm not so sure I'm totally caught up in her Monster craze, nor do I understand exactly why she does the things she does. For attention maybe? I've been told she created the character of Lady Gaga because they didn't think she'd be famous otherwise. Well. Now she's famous! But I mean. Every time she does anything it's like she has to be more and more extreme and I'm honestly not sure how I feel. Eventually she's got to crash. Not that I'm looking forward to it.
------
I'm afraid I'm not being mean enough. This post is like, all squealing so far. So I need to really sit back and look at things from a blogger's perspective. It's going to be interesting. Maybe.
------
Blake Shelton! Aww he's announcing Miranda Lambert, that's so cute. And Miranda's song has been nominated of course. Aww. This is just too much cute. A little too much cute. Very corny. I'm not sure how I think the Grammys are going to be. But that song she's singing - it's one of the songs I love that always strikes a note with me. She's incredible, her songs. I remember when she was brand new to the country music scene and my sister loved her. She actually has talent - no effects or crazy anything needed. She's just singing so simply and beautifully and honestly. Now if only someone else had announced her. (Though...okay...it was cute. And I'm absolutely a sucker for cute things. It felt a little...abbreviated though.)
------
I feel like a bad person for not knowing who this guy is who's won four Grammy awards. Lenny Kravitz - but it's okay because he's announcing Muse, who I do know. And this will be interesting. I like them.
I love the way the stage is set up, and the way the dancers are working. And that screen is so cool. See, the fun thing about the Grammy awards is that not only do you get to see crazy people, but you get to see some pretty cool staging and stuff. I'm not sure how I feel about the violence/fight/dancing on the stage. But it's kind of cool. Like. Very modern and interpretive. I think. What's up with the bank? Clearly I do not understand what this song is about - what do fighting duos and banks have to do with each other? Who will be victorious, Egypt? (They so were.)
-------
Okay so my brother and I are having a discussion about Justin Bieber being nominated for Best New Artist - and I don't know what I think. I mean, I know he came from nothing to being an international superstar. Which is impressive. And not everyone can do that. But little bro's favorite band (more musically talented) Mumford & Sons is also nominated, and I understand what he's saying when he says he expects M&S to win, but honestly I kinda figure JBiebz will. Just because he's...THE it thing right now. Though I am not sure even how I feel about THAT....life is complicated when stars are involved.
-------
Oh no. What's going on right now, who's singing? This is going to be interesting. I love Bruno Mars. Though that whole cocaine thing - really? Everyone's making a huge stink. We'll save my drug rants for later. This trio sounds like it could be interesting. Though the second "medley" of the night? (Even though it's already a song that two of them sing together) I'm really hesitant. It just feels...idk. Like they're trying to smush so many people into this show at once. And the lady is barely singing, I already forget her name....
But I like how they're splitting up the three. And Bruno Mars will never stop impressing me, he's so diverse and incredible.And I actually really like this Janelle girl's outfit. Her hair? A little too much like Nicki Minaj for my liking. Who I can't stand. But I like the way they're singing their songs - the style is so dated, and it sounds really cool. And oh my god she's crowd surfing? What the heck. Who...crowd surfs...at the Grammy awards? Okay that just...no. Nope. No way.
-------
Zac Brown and Dierks Bentley? Country Music!!! Love it.
Okay. Female country vocal.
Satisfied - Jewel wtf since when does she even sing country music... no way.
The House that Built Me - Miranda Lambert - her performance was incredible.
Swingin' - LeAnn Rimes - Never heard it. But I've heard of LeAnn Rimes.
Temporary Home - Carrie Underwood - Love Carrie, but it's like... this is another house song and I like the other "Home" song better.
I'd Love to be your Last - Gretchen Wilson - She was a fad. She's done.
YES okay Miranda SO deserved to win. She was incredible singing. The song is emotional and wonderful.
Wow so far the Grammys aren't as bad as I thought they were going to be.
------
What the heck, why is the meeting of Justin Bieber and Usher memorable?? I don't understand this. I don't really care. I really couldn't care less. I know people who can sing better than him. Who deserve to be famous now.
And this is really, really corny. I can't....no I can't even watch the dialogue between them. That was painfully scripted and very corny. And I don't understand the craze for JBiebz, I really don't. And...wtf is all of this? This song is horrible. The acrobatics are actually really cool - but I can't stand this song. It's the most obnoxious thing ever. And he needs to fix his collar, dammit!
I love the cuts to the proud parents as they watch their daughter sing with Justin Bieber. Yay famous peoples' children getting recording contracts left and right!
I changed my mind. I'm really not liking the Grammys so far. This is just getting annoying. I guess most people like watching Usher and Justin sing together? I didn't. At all. Didn't do it for me. And now I need to do my homework, or else Mumsy will be like AHH TV OFF. No way.
I can't stand Paramore. But I love Piper. So I'm excited for this award.
Best Rock Album:
Emotion and Commotion - Jeff Beck
The Resistance - Muse
Backspacer - Pearl Jam
Mojo - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
La Noise - Neil Young
Yay Muse! Getting to sing and then getting to win! Though I was kind of hoping for Pearl Jam, I have some fond memories singing to their songs, though I used to not know who they are because a long time ago I only ever listened to country music. And I like their speech but it doesn't sound very prepared - I don't think they were expecting to win this... haha. But they got it! Yay!
------
I hope Gaga beats Bieber. I don't want Susan Boyle to win....she annoys me.
YAY LADY GAGA!!!! You definitely needed this award. Not like, needed it. But yay you deserved it. Your music is incredible.
Okay this post is going horribly. I'm going to stop updating live and make snarky comments on Twitter instead, and write a "review" of the show tomorrow or later tonight. Because I have to do homework and put pictures online so I can commemorate my amazing Boston trip yesterday.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
OHMAHGAWD where have I been?
I HAVE BEEN EVERYWHERE! Dealing with a lot of drama and a lot of homework. The past...what, two and a half, two weeks since I've posted have been absolutely the most hectic time ever. And now I have no readers. Darn. New mission, rebuild reader base.
So what have I actually been up to? I have lost four friends since 2011 started. That's okay though because I had way more than four friends to start with, so it's like, count your losses and move on. I fell for a guy and made it all up in my head (I totally identify with Kurt on this one) and then that crashed. I went to a party that couldn't start for three hours because Ke$ha wasn't there yet. I got so excited for the return of Glee that I screamed. I failed a test. I whipped my hair back and forth. I started new classes. I'm creating a nonprofit organization! (maybe.)
SO I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
First. Darren Criss. It annoys me a lot that people are like, totally obsessed with him now that he's on Glee. I've been mad for him since AVPM. All you fakers who think you found him first? YOU are not the REAL fans. A Very Potter Musical pwns everything on the face of this planet. Also I quite enjoy his sunglasses. But I'm not a creeper. I just have a celeb crush is all. And even if celeb crushes never work out he actually seems like a really cool guy.
I may be writing that paragraph just in case Darren sees the tweet in which I said he should go to prom with me, clicks on my twitter, and reads my blog. Never, ever gonna happen. But hey, a girl can dream, right?
Secondly. Everyone needs to shut up about Christina Aguilera messing up the National Anthem. There are WAY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS that could be talked about right now. Like what's going on in Egypt. Or how we've desensitized ourselves to war. Or things like that. She messed up one line. She nailed the rehearsal, we all know she can sing it. She's incredible. So stop with the grief and the "omg I hate her." If you want to complain about anyone, complain about the Black Eyed Peas during the Superbowl halftime show.
Thirdly. I'm going to start blogging daily again. Hopefully you'll enjoy that!
Fourthly. I'm very tired and out of things to say. I'll write you a real post tomorrow, kay? Love you all!
So what have I actually been up to? I have lost four friends since 2011 started. That's okay though because I had way more than four friends to start with, so it's like, count your losses and move on. I fell for a guy and made it all up in my head (I totally identify with Kurt on this one) and then that crashed. I went to a party that couldn't start for three hours because Ke$ha wasn't there yet. I got so excited for the return of Glee that I screamed. I failed a test. I whipped my hair back and forth. I started new classes. I'm creating a nonprofit organization! (maybe.)
SO I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS I WANT TO TALK ABOUT.
First. Darren Criss. It annoys me a lot that people are like, totally obsessed with him now that he's on Glee. I've been mad for him since AVPM. All you fakers who think you found him first? YOU are not the REAL fans. A Very Potter Musical pwns everything on the face of this planet. Also I quite enjoy his sunglasses. But I'm not a creeper. I just have a celeb crush is all. And even if celeb crushes never work out he actually seems like a really cool guy.
I may be writing that paragraph just in case Darren sees the tweet in which I said he should go to prom with me, clicks on my twitter, and reads my blog. Never, ever gonna happen. But hey, a girl can dream, right?
Secondly. Everyone needs to shut up about Christina Aguilera messing up the National Anthem. There are WAY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS that could be talked about right now. Like what's going on in Egypt. Or how we've desensitized ourselves to war. Or things like that. She messed up one line. She nailed the rehearsal, we all know she can sing it. She's incredible. So stop with the grief and the "omg I hate her." If you want to complain about anyone, complain about the Black Eyed Peas during the Superbowl halftime show.
Thirdly. I'm going to start blogging daily again. Hopefully you'll enjoy that!
Fourthly. I'm very tired and out of things to say. I'll write you a real post tomorrow, kay? Love you all!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Justin Bieber, you're making this very difficult
Dear Justin Bieber,
You are the first official letter I'm writing on my blog. And you should feel pretty special. Usually my letters are on my Facebook status updates and they're to inanimate objects, days of the week, or the creator of FB himself. And this letter is to express my frustration with you. You're making this post very difficult. I always sit down to blog with a general idea of what I'm going to write about, and my post was going to run something like this:
"Justin Bieber. His music scares me because he's scary. He's what, fifteen? Singing about one less lonely girl and how he was like baby baby baby, and he's in music videos with girls who look about ten years older than he does, and it's just horrific. He also has reduced millions of little girls to screaming messes, including my little sister, and it just does not look healthy. (Go on youtube and look up the three year old crying over him. Hilarious yet upsetting.)"
And I was going to go on like that and talk about how much I don't like your songs, how much your lyrics upset me, how much I can't stand your career and the waterbottle incident made me laugh. But I decided that I was going to look you up first and actually find out more about you before I just wrote a blog post about not liking you, and I wish I hadn't. Because Justin the truth is I actually have to admit I kind of respect you. I still hate your music, I still will never listen to it on the radio, I still will try to get my little sister to take your poster down out of her room.
But you apparently worked really hard to get this career, and it's something you've always wanted, and then boom you were discovered! And then the best part is? Now that you're famous you're actually doing some really good things with your money. I know a lot of celebs do this and I shouldn't sit here all surprised because it's the "in" thing to do right now, but it actually seems like you're really genuine about this and I'm pleasantly surprised to find it impossible to actually hate you as a person.
I'm still not going to endorse your music. I'm actually going to finish this post with a song analysis because I want to show the world that I still don't like your music. But Justin Bieber fans, don't take this personally. Justin, don't you take this personally either. Because you're a cool kid. (I can call you "kid" because I'm eighteen. I'm older than you.) Try writing some songs that have a little more depth to them okay? And you should probably not encourage this whole toddlers in love with you thing, because you're quickly turning into an epidemic. You already are an epidemic, you're a bigger problem than Twilight.
Just kidding that's a lie. Twilight will always be the biggest problem out there. Seriously? Stephenie Meyer is the one who needs the lesson about toddlers not being allowed to date the big kids. See the Baby Love post for more about that.
But Justin... just. Keep being a decent person and I'll keep respecting you. As much as it pains me to admit it.
No hard feelings!
Margaret
PS: It still amuses me that my sister's boyfriend was actually convinced that you were really Justina Bieber, and you were a girl. That will always amuse me.
Justin Bieber Analysis Time
In keeping with the Taylor Swift analysis, I'm going to make the Bieber lyrics pink and italicized. My analysis will be in normal text. Of course it doesn't help that he sounds like a girl.
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There’s a lot of repetition here. This is going to be less of an analysis and more of a commentary because there’s really no substance and I honestly don’t feel like responding to every single “One less lonely girl” in the song. It’ll get old really fast. Let me just point out here that Justin Bieber was like… how old, thirteen-ish, when this song came out? And I really don’t think he’s in a position to be singing about one less lonely girl because any girl his age should not be dealing with all of the nonsense about to unfold.
How many "I told you"s and "Start over"s and shoulders have you cried on before?
How many promises? Be honest girl
How many tears you let hit the floor?
How many bags you packed
Just to take them back?
Tell me that how many either "or"s?
Response: What. The. Hell. Preteen girls shouldn’t be dealing with this because they are thirteen years old. This is wrong. You should agree with me on this because you just should. Yes, I had major crushes when I was a silly little girl. But they weren’t serious enough to merit heartbreak and devastation on a legitimate level.
(Oh oh) Saw so many pretty faces before I saw you (you)
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you (I'm coming for you)
You just rhymed “you” with “you” and “you” – and there’s an echo! Clearly this song shows that J Biebz has lots of experience with those pretty faces, so be careful!
(No no) Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you're mine, in the world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I’m sure you’re totally serious here. Completely. It’s just a little silly. At least you threw in “other” so the girl you’re singing to knows you really mean it when you call her a pretty face. This is exactly what girls like, being appreciated for their faces alone. You’re almost as bad as Taylor Swift.
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl
I don’t know if this song would make me want to let Justin Bieber inside of my world – this chorus is the same things he’s been saying over and over again. This is repetition, this is what I yelled at a kid in my class for the other day. Repetition is a very effective literary device, but not for an entire song. Okay?
Christmas wasn't merry, 14th of February not one of them spent with you
There is more to Christmas than having a boyfriend. And Valentine’s Day is overrated. Now not only are you being creepy, but you’re promoting the superficiality of holidays. Yay America!
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
I’m just going to start deleting choruses out of the song they’re really making this difficult.
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl [x3]
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
Totally going to put her first. That’s all you need to do.
Only you shawty (haha)
You are the first official letter I'm writing on my blog. And you should feel pretty special. Usually my letters are on my Facebook status updates and they're to inanimate objects, days of the week, or the creator of FB himself. And this letter is to express my frustration with you. You're making this post very difficult. I always sit down to blog with a general idea of what I'm going to write about, and my post was going to run something like this:
"Justin Bieber. His music scares me because he's scary. He's what, fifteen? Singing about one less lonely girl and how he was like baby baby baby, and he's in music videos with girls who look about ten years older than he does, and it's just horrific. He also has reduced millions of little girls to screaming messes, including my little sister, and it just does not look healthy. (Go on youtube and look up the three year old crying over him. Hilarious yet upsetting.)"
And I was going to go on like that and talk about how much I don't like your songs, how much your lyrics upset me, how much I can't stand your career and the waterbottle incident made me laugh. But I decided that I was going to look you up first and actually find out more about you before I just wrote a blog post about not liking you, and I wish I hadn't. Because Justin the truth is I actually have to admit I kind of respect you. I still hate your music, I still will never listen to it on the radio, I still will try to get my little sister to take your poster down out of her room.
But you apparently worked really hard to get this career, and it's something you've always wanted, and then boom you were discovered! And then the best part is? Now that you're famous you're actually doing some really good things with your money. I know a lot of celebs do this and I shouldn't sit here all surprised because it's the "in" thing to do right now, but it actually seems like you're really genuine about this and I'm pleasantly surprised to find it impossible to actually hate you as a person.
I'm still not going to endorse your music. I'm actually going to finish this post with a song analysis because I want to show the world that I still don't like your music. But Justin Bieber fans, don't take this personally. Justin, don't you take this personally either. Because you're a cool kid. (I can call you "kid" because I'm eighteen. I'm older than you.) Try writing some songs that have a little more depth to them okay? And you should probably not encourage this whole toddlers in love with you thing, because you're quickly turning into an epidemic. You already are an epidemic, you're a bigger problem than Twilight.
Just kidding that's a lie. Twilight will always be the biggest problem out there. Seriously? Stephenie Meyer is the one who needs the lesson about toddlers not being allowed to date the big kids. See the Baby Love post for more about that.
But Justin... just. Keep being a decent person and I'll keep respecting you. As much as it pains me to admit it.
No hard feelings!
Margaret
PS: It still amuses me that my sister's boyfriend was actually convinced that you were really Justina Bieber, and you were a girl. That will always amuse me.
Justin Bieber Analysis Time
In keeping with the Taylor Swift analysis, I'm going to make the Bieber lyrics pink and italicized. My analysis will be in normal text. Of course it doesn't help that he sounds like a girl.
Alright let's go
Let’s go where? To the movies? To the mall? Roller skating? Alright tell your mom, she can drive us!
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There’s a lot of repetition here. This is going to be less of an analysis and more of a commentary because there’s really no substance and I honestly don’t feel like responding to every single “One less lonely girl” in the song. It’ll get old really fast. Let me just point out here that Justin Bieber was like… how old, thirteen-ish, when this song came out? And I really don’t think he’s in a position to be singing about one less lonely girl because any girl his age should not be dealing with all of the nonsense about to unfold.
How many "I told you"s and "Start over"s and shoulders have you cried on before?
How many promises? Be honest girl
How many tears you let hit the floor?
How many bags you packed
Just to take them back?
Tell me that how many either "or"s?
Response: What. The. Hell. Preteen girls shouldn’t be dealing with this because they are thirteen years old. This is wrong. You should agree with me on this because you just should. Yes, I had major crushes when I was a silly little girl. But they weren’t serious enough to merit heartbreak and devastation on a legitimate level.
But no more if you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl
How is she supposed to know you’re serious, because you’re writing a song about her? As you’d see if you read my post about Taylor Swift, writing songs about someone does not make you legitimate or serious. So. Prove it. (Leaving a treasure hunt for a clearly older girl in a music video doesn’t count either.)
There'll be one less lonely girl
How is she supposed to know you’re serious, because you’re writing a song about her? As you’d see if you read my post about Taylor Swift, writing songs about someone does not make you legitimate or serious. So. Prove it. (Leaving a treasure hunt for a clearly older girl in a music video doesn’t count either.)
(Oh oh) Saw so many pretty faces before I saw you (you)
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you (I'm coming for you)
You just rhymed “you” with “you” and “you” – and there’s an echo! Clearly this song shows that J Biebz has lots of experience with those pretty faces, so be careful!
(No no) Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you're mine, in the world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I’m sure you’re totally serious here. Completely. It’s just a little silly. At least you threw in “other” so the girl you’re singing to knows you really mean it when you call her a pretty face. This is exactly what girls like, being appreciated for their faces alone. You’re almost as bad as Taylor Swift.
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
If you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl
I don’t know if this song would make me want to let Justin Bieber inside of my world – this chorus is the same things he’s been saying over and over again. This is repetition, this is what I yelled at a kid in my class for the other day. Repetition is a very effective literary device, but not for an entire song. Okay?
Christmas wasn't merry, 14th of February not one of them spent with you
There is more to Christmas than having a boyfriend. And Valentine’s Day is overrated. Now not only are you being creepy, but you’re promoting the superficiality of holidays. Yay America!
How many dinner dates, set dinner plates
And he didn't even touch his food
Maybe he has an eating disorder?
Maybe he has an eating disorder?
How many torn photographs are you taping back?
So wait she’s taken back these guys who are awful to her? Yeah great. She’s really a keeper if she never learns that the bad guys are the bad guys.
So wait she’s taken back these guys who are awful to her? Yeah great. She’s really a keeper if she never learns that the bad guys are the bad guys.
Tell me that you couldn't see an open door
But no more, if you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl
I wonder how many of those other guys who hurt this girl made the same promises that Justin Bieber is making right now?
But no more, if you let me inside of your world
There'll be one less lonely girl
I wonder how many of those other guys who hurt this girl made the same promises that Justin Bieber is making right now?
(Oh oh) Saw so many pretty faces before I saw you, (you)
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you (I'm coming for you)
(No no) Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you're mine in this world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
Now all I see is you
I'm coming for you (I'm coming for you)
(No no) Don't need these other pretty faces like I need you
And when you're mine in this world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
There’s really nothing here. No substance. This is why I don’t like choruses in songs, they really create problems when I’m trying to analyze and respond. There’s nothing new to deal with here, and since the verse hasn’t changed its tone I can’t even take away some new deeper meaning. And modulation doesn’t count.
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I can fix up your broken heart (heart)
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I can fix up your broken heart (heart)
It’s so necessary to repeat everything after you say it, isn’t it? Makes it so much more effective.
I can give you a brand new start (start)
Another one? You already told her she has had to many “start over”s.
I can give you a brand new start (start)
Another one? You already told her she has had to many “start over”s.
I can make you believe (ya)
I just wanna set one girl free to fall (free to fall)
One girl free to fall? Sounds like you’re settling, Justin.
I just wanna set one girl free to fall (free to fall)
One girl free to fall? Sounds like you’re settling, Justin.
She's free to fall (fall in love)
With me
Of course she is but will she? You probably sound just like everyone else. I’ve pointed this out already. I’m really starved for material here.
Her heart's locked and know what I got the key
I'll take her and leave the world with one less lonely
I hate it when in songs the narrative is changed from 2nd to 3rd. Now are you talking to a new girl? How is this going to make the first girl feel??? I don’t even get it. Chorus/verse do not sync up.
With me
Of course she is but will she? You probably sound just like everyone else. I’ve pointed this out already. I’m really starved for material here.
Her heart's locked and know what I got the key
I'll take her and leave the world with one less lonely
I hate it when in songs the narrative is changed from 2nd to 3rd. Now are you talking to a new girl? How is this going to make the first girl feel??? I don’t even get it. Chorus/verse do not sync up.
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
One less lonely girl
I’m just going to start deleting choruses out of the song they’re really making this difficult.
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl [x3]
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
Totally going to put her first. That’s all you need to do.
(I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
By writing a terrible song about her?
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
By writing a terrible song about her?
If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl (yeah yea) [x2]
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
We’re done. I have nothing more to say. This is such a boring song.
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl (yeah yea) [x2]
I'm coming for you, one less lonely girl
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
(I'm coming for you)
I'm gonna put you first
(I'm coming for you)
I'll show you what you're worth
That's what I'm gonna do
If you let me inside of your world
There's gonna be one less lonely girl
We’re done. I have nothing more to say. This is such a boring song.
Only you shawty (haha)
You laugh and say shawty at the end of a song. Urban Dictionary defines “shawty” as a “FINE ASS GIRL” in all capital letters. It’s also said to be a term of endearment, but honestly the only term of endearment coming to mind is the line from that song – Trying to find a word to describe this girl without being disrespectful, but damn who’s a sexy bitch. (Because that is so respectful.)
This is definitely going to make some girl fall in love with you. Look, it already made little girls fall madly in love with you. Good job, Justin Bieber.
Operation: Other Cultures
I've decided that I don't like being an American. I mean it's cool and all, yay free speech, yay Obama, yay terrible singers who become famous just for using auto tune. But really? We're pretty ignorant about the world around us as a whole. You're probably aware of this epidemic if you're reading my blog, especially if you agree with me about things. You know. The things I've been talking about for the last month I've had this blog.
So I'm starting a project. Every month, maybe every two months depending on how much time this takes, I'm going to break the monotony of posts about my life and posts about my problems with America to do an in-depth immersion in the culture of another country. I'm starting with England because I have a friend in England who I want to have something interesting to read in this blog, but then I might start moving on to the other countries I have readers from - notably so far I've seen Canada, Denmark, and the Philippines with more than like 2 views each so I'm hoping it's not just an accident. Or you can tell me what countries you want me to learn about.
This immersion will be done with watching TV episodes from the country, reading their news, figuring out who their celebrities are and checking them out - you know, I'm doing this from a pop culture aspect. I'm determined to find a country with more intellect than the United States.
And I apologize if I'm accidentally dissing any of you guys reading this from the US, you do make up the bulk of my readership (OMG I HAVE A READERSHIP. It's pretty darn awesome. Also small but I love you anyway.) I do trust that you're educating yourself on what is good and what is bad, and I'm not calling you stupid. I'm calling most of the other people out there stupid. There's a difference.
Anyway. I'm officially declaring February to be England Month, and I'll pick March after that. You guys can help, if you come from the country I'm going to be talking about, post here or drop me a line on Twitter @CultureLessons to tell me what I should be checking out! And I'll give you my blatantly honest opinion. You know I will.
So I'm starting a project. Every month, maybe every two months depending on how much time this takes, I'm going to break the monotony of posts about my life and posts about my problems with America to do an in-depth immersion in the culture of another country. I'm starting with England because I have a friend in England who I want to have something interesting to read in this blog, but then I might start moving on to the other countries I have readers from - notably so far I've seen Canada, Denmark, and the Philippines with more than like 2 views each so I'm hoping it's not just an accident. Or you can tell me what countries you want me to learn about.
This immersion will be done with watching TV episodes from the country, reading their news, figuring out who their celebrities are and checking them out - you know, I'm doing this from a pop culture aspect. I'm determined to find a country with more intellect than the United States.
And I apologize if I'm accidentally dissing any of you guys reading this from the US, you do make up the bulk of my readership (OMG I HAVE A READERSHIP. It's pretty darn awesome. Also small but I love you anyway.) I do trust that you're educating yourself on what is good and what is bad, and I'm not calling you stupid. I'm calling most of the other people out there stupid. There's a difference.
Anyway. I'm officially declaring February to be England Month, and I'll pick March after that. You guys can help, if you come from the country I'm going to be talking about, post here or drop me a line on Twitter @CultureLessons to tell me what I should be checking out! And I'll give you my blatantly honest opinion. You know I will.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I Do Not Want To Clean My Room
So usually Mom bugs me about doing stuff. Sometimes it's homework which I procrastinate on, but more often than not it's to clean my room. I do not want to clean my room, it is messy and I like it that way. Some people don't believe me but truly, I prefer it. There are some other reasons why I don't want to clean my room, and all of them are very valid and normal reasons. Most of you will probably identify with one or the other as you continue to read.
1) I like my room the way it is. I've already said this. I'm comfortable in it, it generally does not hurt me, and we have a very healthy relationship. It wants to be messy. It's not like it's uninhabitable.
2) I know where everything is. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but if I put something on the floor by my dresser, I know when I get back it's still going to be right there on the floor near my dresser. Yes I could put it in my desk drawer but the point is, if I'm going to know where it is anyway it's far more accessible if it's on the floor outside my dresser than it would be hidden inside my desk drawers.
3) It's really fun to take bounding leaps over piles of things to jump into bed.
4) I never sit around in my super comfy chair being lazy - know why? Because my super comfy chair is where my clean laundry stays in nice folded piles until I have time to put it in my dresser. And the back of my super comfy chair is where I keep various sweatshirts/jackets/purses.
5) There is no way the monsters can get out of my closet, because unless I'm going into my closet it remains blocked by heavy boxes full of papers. This is a very important safety precaution.
6) Likewise, if a rapist ever tries to sneak into my room at night, he will fall over piles of books and yarn and break his leg before he gets to me. It's really for my own safety that I leave my room messy...
7) Cleaning takes more time than I have time for. I have a life and lots of things to do. Cleaning my room at this point would take hours, probably days. No thank you.
8) I have some really good opposite feng shui going on here, and changing the cleanliness would mean a major overhaul to make my room full of the "right" energy.
9) Cleaning my room would mean accepting the fact that my mother is "right" when she says it's better clean. Nope. It's better messy. I'm going to hold on to this.
10) If there is a fire, I do have an escape route through my room. I am perfectly capable of navigating and getting out. So don't worry it's not a hazard.
11) It's none of your business or her business if my room is perfectly organized or not.
12) I saw this on a t-shirt once, and after this I don't need any more reasons. Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
And of course now I'm being told I have to clean my room so I'm being kicked off the computer so I can't write you more reasons why I don't want to clean the room I have to go clean.
This is ridiculous. I'll write you a better post tomorrow.
1) I like my room the way it is. I've already said this. I'm comfortable in it, it generally does not hurt me, and we have a very healthy relationship. It wants to be messy. It's not like it's uninhabitable.
2) I know where everything is. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but if I put something on the floor by my dresser, I know when I get back it's still going to be right there on the floor near my dresser. Yes I could put it in my desk drawer but the point is, if I'm going to know where it is anyway it's far more accessible if it's on the floor outside my dresser than it would be hidden inside my desk drawers.
3) It's really fun to take bounding leaps over piles of things to jump into bed.
4) I never sit around in my super comfy chair being lazy - know why? Because my super comfy chair is where my clean laundry stays in nice folded piles until I have time to put it in my dresser. And the back of my super comfy chair is where I keep various sweatshirts/jackets/purses.
5) There is no way the monsters can get out of my closet, because unless I'm going into my closet it remains blocked by heavy boxes full of papers. This is a very important safety precaution.
6) Likewise, if a rapist ever tries to sneak into my room at night, he will fall over piles of books and yarn and break his leg before he gets to me. It's really for my own safety that I leave my room messy...
7) Cleaning takes more time than I have time for. I have a life and lots of things to do. Cleaning my room at this point would take hours, probably days. No thank you.
8) I have some really good opposite feng shui going on here, and changing the cleanliness would mean a major overhaul to make my room full of the "right" energy.
9) Cleaning my room would mean accepting the fact that my mother is "right" when she says it's better clean. Nope. It's better messy. I'm going to hold on to this.
10) If there is a fire, I do have an escape route through my room. I am perfectly capable of navigating and getting out. So don't worry it's not a hazard.
11) It's none of your business or her business if my room is perfectly organized or not.
12) I saw this on a t-shirt once, and after this I don't need any more reasons. Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
And of course now I'm being told I have to clean my room so I'm being kicked off the computer so I can't write you more reasons why I don't want to clean the room I have to go clean.
This is ridiculous. I'll write you a better post tomorrow.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
How To Eat An Oreo Cookie
Going through my writing portfolios from when I was a young elementary school student, I stumbled across a fourth grade essay titled "How To Eat An Oreo Cookie." I read through it and actually distinctly remember writing the piece. It contains rather disgusting and elaborate steps for how to eat an Oreo, involving pulling the cookie apart, putting the pieces in a plastic bag, smushing them all together until it's a crumbled mess, then using milk to turn it into a paste and eating it with a spoon.
I'm not sure what was wrong with me in fourth grade.
Nobody eats an Oreo like that. I don't even eat Oreos like that, I made it up because I wanted to be 'original' and I was quite sure nobody else would write as messed up an essay as that. Clearly because they weren't as creative as me, and not because they were sane.
I've decided that there are several other perfectly acceptable ways to eat an Oreo that will work much better than my previously described method. Please don't try that way, I am not liable for any puking that occurs as a result. I do suggest the new ways, however. They could be very delicious. And yes, each way is very significant - don't try to tell me that an Oreo is an Oreo and it will taste the same no matter how you eat it. This is NOT TRUE. Don't listen to anyone who says so.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method I
(Roman numerals make everything look more official)
1. Remove Oreo cookie from package.
2. Insert cookie into mouth.
3. Take a bite.
4. Chew.
5. Swallow.
6. Repeat steps 2 through 5 until Oreo cookie has been consumed.
7. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method II
1. Remove Oreo cookie from package.
2. Insert entire cookie into mouth.
3. Chew.
4. Swallow.
5. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method III
1. Remove Oreo cookie from package.
2. Pry Oreo cookie into two separate cookie halves.
3. Use your teeth to scrape the filling off of the two halves.
4. (Optional) Eat the two chocolate cookie halves.
5. (If you skipped step 4) Throw the chocolate cookie halves away.
6. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method IV
1. Do not remove Oreo from package. Do not eat Oreo. You are on a diet.
2. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method V
1. Remove two Oreo cookies from package.
2. Pull the first Oreo cookie apart.
3. Make sure all of the filling stays on one half of the cookie.
4. Throw the other half away.
5. Repeat steps 2-4 with the other cookie.
6. Put the two halves with filling together.
7. Place Oreo cookie in mouth.
8. Bite.
9. Chew.
10. Swallow.
11. Repeat steps 7-10 until Oreo is gone.
12. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
Hopefully, one of these methods will strike your fancy! Happy eating! If you have a method I didn't cover, feel free to enlighten me.
I'm not sure what was wrong with me in fourth grade.
Nobody eats an Oreo like that. I don't even eat Oreos like that, I made it up because I wanted to be 'original' and I was quite sure nobody else would write as messed up an essay as that. Clearly because they weren't as creative as me, and not because they were sane.
I've decided that there are several other perfectly acceptable ways to eat an Oreo that will work much better than my previously described method. Please don't try that way, I am not liable for any puking that occurs as a result. I do suggest the new ways, however. They could be very delicious. And yes, each way is very significant - don't try to tell me that an Oreo is an Oreo and it will taste the same no matter how you eat it. This is NOT TRUE. Don't listen to anyone who says so.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method I
(Roman numerals make everything look more official)
1. Remove Oreo cookie from package.
2. Insert cookie into mouth.
3. Take a bite.
4. Chew.
5. Swallow.
6. Repeat steps 2 through 5 until Oreo cookie has been consumed.
7. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method II
1. Remove Oreo cookie from package.
2. Insert entire cookie into mouth.
3. Chew.
4. Swallow.
5. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method III
1. Remove Oreo cookie from package.
2. Pry Oreo cookie into two separate cookie halves.
3. Use your teeth to scrape the filling off of the two halves.
4. (Optional) Eat the two chocolate cookie halves.
5. (If you skipped step 4) Throw the chocolate cookie halves away.
6. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method IV
1. Do not remove Oreo from package. Do not eat Oreo. You are on a diet.
2. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
How To Eat An Oreo: Method V
1. Remove two Oreo cookies from package.
2. Pull the first Oreo cookie apart.
3. Make sure all of the filling stays on one half of the cookie.
4. Throw the other half away.
5. Repeat steps 2-4 with the other cookie.
6. Put the two halves with filling together.
7. Place Oreo cookie in mouth.
8. Bite.
9. Chew.
10. Swallow.
11. Repeat steps 7-10 until Oreo is gone.
12. (Optional) Drink a glass of milk.
Hopefully, one of these methods will strike your fancy! Happy eating! If you have a method I didn't cover, feel free to enlighten me.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Life As We (Don't) Know It
So far leading in the poll on the right side of the page people most want to hear about my life and other peoples' lives. I'm not sure why you want to hear about my life, it's super boring. And I can tell you about other people but it might be very exaggerated and sarcastic. So I'm going to promote that little contest I tried to start a while ago but no one seemed to pay attention to :P First 25 followers on the blog (go over to the right, scroll down, click follow) will get their names thrown into a hat and one will be pulled out. The winner gets interviewed by me and then I will write a post about their life, making it even more over the top and awesome than I'm sure it already is.
To give you an example of what your life could look like, I'm going to humor my friend Linds who's been telling me I should write about her since I started this blog, and dedicate today's blog post to her and her insanity. She's got a bit of a bizarre existence. So bear with me and realize what cool friends I have.
Once upon a time, Lindsey and I hated each other. Well. That's a lie. Lindsey hated me and I was very confused as to why she hated me. Turns out she thought I had a perfect life and was mad at me for being so happy and positive all the time. What a hilarious concept. My life is far from perfect. Anyway we sat at the same lunch table but she wouldn't even talk to me she just...sulked at me. And I was so confused. I didn't understand that my perpetual bouncy optimism could be a bad thing to some people. And she was crazy anyway, but then one day we realized that we had a lot more in common than we thought and started talking. And then all of a sudden we were like best friends. At this point I don't even remember what happened to change things, when we started being friends, or any of that stuff. I just remember her hating me then her not hating me.
To help you get to know Lindsey, I'm going to throw out some random and partially true facts about her. You can have fun guessing what is real.
Lindsey loves ducks. She likes them a lot more than normal people do. In fact one of her favorite birthday presents was a sparkly pink duck that her sister gave her. Sometimes I think that she should just marry a duck and then her life will be complete. It's perfectly normal though, don't go thinking she's crazy or anything. She totally isn't. She's totally normal. She just loves ducks.
Lindsey ALSO loves ladybugs. It is really fun to give her a ton of ladybugs and watch her react. She's just so happy to be covered in swarms of them. Trust me. She won't be mad at you, she's not grossed out by them or anything.
Lindsey decided once upon a time to spell her name Lyndsey instead. I don't know why she changed it back. It confused me very much in middle school because for a while I really wasn't sure how to spell it.
Lindsey likes to date crazy people. After she's done with the crazies, I openly hate them for the rest of their lives.
Lindsey is magical. This can be interpreted many different ways but I guarantee one of your interpretations is going to be correct.
Lindsey believes in unicorns just like I do! (I'm not alone! I knew I wasn't alone!)
Lindsey cannot cook. We tried to cook once and it went horribly, horribly wrong. This has lead to our habit of simply ordering food or myself cooking the food when we hang out. On New Year's Eve we stayed up late and ate Chinese food while we watched dumb and entertaining videos on Youtube. It was much better than us trying to do anything - we "tried" to make brownies and they got really gross and tasted bad. I still don't know what went wrong.
Lindsey is a professional ninja. I'm just kidding, of course. Coz if she were a ninja I wouldn't actually be able to tell you...there's that whole no one knows who are the real ninjas thing. Next time you're on the subway watch out, there could be a ninja watching you. That'd be rather terrifying wouldn't it?
Lindsey eats soap.
Lindsey hates mustard.
Lindsey doesn't like to wait for dumb people. She's the kind of person who will yell at you if you're taking too long to do something. Sometimes it's a little upsetting, especially if you're the person she's yelling at, but you just have to deal with it.
Lindsey is usually right when I ask her for advice about things.
And that is all I have to say for now about Lindsey. She is a very amusing person. If this keyboard worked a little better I would write a "Day In The Life Of" but maybe I'll edit that in later if I have time on the other computer that actually works.
See ya! (If you have questions for Lindsey you can leave them and I'll get them to her. Not that you will, but I mean in case you do.)
To give you an example of what your life could look like, I'm going to humor my friend Linds who's been telling me I should write about her since I started this blog, and dedicate today's blog post to her and her insanity. She's got a bit of a bizarre existence. So bear with me and realize what cool friends I have.
Once upon a time, Lindsey and I hated each other. Well. That's a lie. Lindsey hated me and I was very confused as to why she hated me. Turns out she thought I had a perfect life and was mad at me for being so happy and positive all the time. What a hilarious concept. My life is far from perfect. Anyway we sat at the same lunch table but she wouldn't even talk to me she just...sulked at me. And I was so confused. I didn't understand that my perpetual bouncy optimism could be a bad thing to some people. And she was crazy anyway, but then one day we realized that we had a lot more in common than we thought and started talking. And then all of a sudden we were like best friends. At this point I don't even remember what happened to change things, when we started being friends, or any of that stuff. I just remember her hating me then her not hating me.
To help you get to know Lindsey, I'm going to throw out some random and partially true facts about her. You can have fun guessing what is real.
Lindsey loves ducks. She likes them a lot more than normal people do. In fact one of her favorite birthday presents was a sparkly pink duck that her sister gave her. Sometimes I think that she should just marry a duck and then her life will be complete. It's perfectly normal though, don't go thinking she's crazy or anything. She totally isn't. She's totally normal. She just loves ducks.
Lindsey ALSO loves ladybugs. It is really fun to give her a ton of ladybugs and watch her react. She's just so happy to be covered in swarms of them. Trust me. She won't be mad at you, she's not grossed out by them or anything.
Lindsey decided once upon a time to spell her name Lyndsey instead. I don't know why she changed it back. It confused me very much in middle school because for a while I really wasn't sure how to spell it.
Lindsey likes to date crazy people. After she's done with the crazies, I openly hate them for the rest of their lives.
Lindsey is magical. This can be interpreted many different ways but I guarantee one of your interpretations is going to be correct.
Lindsey believes in unicorns just like I do! (I'm not alone! I knew I wasn't alone!)
Lindsey cannot cook. We tried to cook once and it went horribly, horribly wrong. This has lead to our habit of simply ordering food or myself cooking the food when we hang out. On New Year's Eve we stayed up late and ate Chinese food while we watched dumb and entertaining videos on Youtube. It was much better than us trying to do anything - we "tried" to make brownies and they got really gross and tasted bad. I still don't know what went wrong.
Lindsey is a professional ninja. I'm just kidding, of course. Coz if she were a ninja I wouldn't actually be able to tell you...there's that whole no one knows who are the real ninjas thing. Next time you're on the subway watch out, there could be a ninja watching you. That'd be rather terrifying wouldn't it?
Lindsey eats soap.
Lindsey hates mustard.
Lindsey doesn't like to wait for dumb people. She's the kind of person who will yell at you if you're taking too long to do something. Sometimes it's a little upsetting, especially if you're the person she's yelling at, but you just have to deal with it.
Lindsey is usually right when I ask her for advice about things.
And that is all I have to say for now about Lindsey. She is a very amusing person. If this keyboard worked a little better I would write a "Day In The Life Of" but maybe I'll edit that in later if I have time on the other computer that actually works.
See ya! (If you have questions for Lindsey you can leave them and I'll get them to her. Not that you will, but I mean in case you do.)
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Secret Meanings of Taylor Swift: Hey Stephen
You didn't know this before, but now you do: Taylor Swift songs are actually Stalker Songs. One of the best examples? Her song Hey Stephen, on her album Fearless. It fit perfectly at camp when we wanted to rewrite it into a song all about this lifeguard named Arthur that the ten-year-olds were in love with and followed around all day. Why? Because it's a natural stalker song...if you don't believe me, just look at the lyrics. I will reveal the hidden meaning to you with my pro analysis skills. (Keep in mind I have a year and a half of AP English under my belt.) But before that, let's get some background.
According to the interwebs, which frequently lie but are probably telling me the truth today, Taylor write this song about a singer named Stephen Barker Liles, whom she liked a lot once upon a time. Singer means everyone follows him around, loves him, and he gets lots of fan adoration. Granted Taylor is famous, and his band opened for her once so they definitely know each other. And she showed him the song once it was recorded. But. Um. I don't think he should have been honored - he should have run screaming from the studio. He was used, in the long line of men who have been the subjects of Taylor's songs. My mom once asked me, "How does she have that many guys to write songs about??" She moves around a lot. That's how. Also she writes about other peoples lives as well as her own. (Stalkerrr!)
Taylor's own description of the song runs as follows: "The song is actually about a guy who I had a crush on and never told him, so I wrote everything that I was thinking down in the song instead of telling him."
According to the interwebs, which frequently lie but are probably telling me the truth today, Taylor write this song about a singer named Stephen Barker Liles, whom she liked a lot once upon a time. Singer means everyone follows him around, loves him, and he gets lots of fan adoration. Granted Taylor is famous, and his band opened for her once so they definitely know each other. And she showed him the song once it was recorded. But. Um. I don't think he should have been honored - he should have run screaming from the studio. He was used, in the long line of men who have been the subjects of Taylor's songs. My mom once asked me, "How does she have that many guys to write songs about??" She moves around a lot. That's how. Also she writes about other peoples lives as well as her own. (Stalkerrr!)
Taylor's own description of the song runs as follows: "The song is actually about a guy who I had a crush on and never told him, so I wrote everything that I was thinking down in the song instead of telling him."
Now. Let's clarify. Yes, I'm aware that Taylor is capable of writing hit songs and going to number one on the charts just by releasing them. I know she has a huge fan following. And I know I don't have three best selling albums under my belt. I admire her ability to rise up in the world, because not everyone can do that. But I mean, really? If you actually look at the lyrics...yeah. No. Just. No. So don't leave comments saying "I'd like to see you write this many hit songs and get famous!" I will laugh at you for using the expression "get famous", and then I will write a post about how dumb you are, because I don't care! I'm doing this for my entertainment and the education of my readers. Not to say I'm better at being famous than Taylor Swift. (Though, I bet I would be...)
For clarity's sake, the lyrics to the song will be in italics & a color...we'll use pink. And my commentary will be normal.
Hey Stephen
Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you
So. Intro to the song. Looks are deceiving - does that mean he doesn't look like someone who she should normally go for? Is he a bad boy type who's dangerous? Or does it just seem that he has no idea who she is at all but she's telling herself that he may love her....? I think that's the case. It looks like he doesn't like her, but she's convincing herself that he might or does.
As we walked we were talking and I didn't say half the things I wanted to
Alright they know each other. This is better than her not knowing him at all. They've spoken, exchanged words. Clearly the entire time, Taylor was holding back on these proclamations of devotion that she wanted to share with him. She probably just smiled and nodded a lot. And looked cute, Taylor likes looking cute.
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold
Great! This is the perfect way to express your love to your dream boy! It even comes across a little bit initially as "I love you the mostest!" But um. It's pretty terrifying. Of all the girls who stalk you, follow you, fangirl over you, and say they love you, I am the most persistent! I WIN!!! It's like it's a contest for her, and she has to be the best at everything. Including stalking. Also, tossing rocks at windows has always sounded kind of dangerous to me. What if the rock broke the window? That could cause some problems. I bet Stephen pulled down the shade, closed the curtains, and turned on music to drown out the pebble shower on his window. Or if we're not taking this literally, he's probably hiding somewhere.
Hey Stephen, boy you might have me believing I don't always have to be alone.
That's so lovely and sweet. He might have her believing she doesn't always have to be alone? Because out of the huge group of girls who adore him, she's the one who will stalk him the most, love him the longest, etc. Also she's already convincing herself that they're in love, as we saw from line one. So clearly this belief that she doesn't always have to be alone stems from her delusions about him caring for her. (By the way, Taylor could just lift a finger and have any guy she wanted, she's a country singer who has a huge male fan following for her looks and lyrics.)
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
No, she really can't help it - nor can all the other girls who like him. I didn't know we were judging people on their appearances. My bad.
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Can you say cliché? Kissing in the rain is possibly the most stereotypical moment in a relationship and let me tell you it isn't always all it's cracked up to be. I had an ex once who I wanted to kiss in the rain, and he dropped me off home once but he wouldn't because he couldn't drive even though he was a junior in high school so his mom was watching and it was a super awkward not-really-a-kiss kiss, and I was devastated. Kissing in the rain is overrated and something girls like to dream about when they're building up a non-existant relationship in their heads.
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
So clearly there's magic here that she's feeling, she pretty much comes right out and says it. But she has to ask him to come and feel it. He doesn't feel the magic. He doesn't like her. There is no plainer way to say it, Taylor. This guy will probably never like you. I hate to be the one to break it to you. And even if he does, given your history with men, you'll probably be over him and on to the next obsession by the time he tells you about it.
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
This is ridiculous. She can't help it if she won't have feelings for anyone else? Taylor, by the time you released the song and were promoting it you didn't even like the guy anymore because you told him about it and showed it to him. You are not being devoted if you move on from your crush before you even release the song you wrote about him. It's very pointless. Of course you can't help yourself. You're a silly girl writing silly songs.
Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
So I've got some things to say to you
Yeah why exactly is she holding back this feeling? Because he doesn't like her, she knows it, and she's just being a silly little fangirl. Convincing herself that he'll love her and they'll be together forever and she's just so perfect for him.
I seen it all so I thought but I never seen nobody shine the way you do
Grammar has been thrown out the window for the sake of the song lyrics flowing, I'm sure. I'll excuse it with that because going into grammar right now would take me way too long and I still have this verse and a bridge to cover before I'm done. This might be the first part of the song with some substance. Only a little though. She think she's seen it all? Taylor Swift right now is what, twenty years old? And she was younger when she wrote the song. Awesome, by the time you're twenty you know everything and all your views are shaped and things can't change - or so she thought, until she met this Stephen character. And now she's complimenting him, because she's saying he shines. Yay! This might mean there's some depth to this song!
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
MY BAD! I thought she was going for substance and reality here but apparently it's still all about the physical appearance. The way he walks and talks and the way he says her name. Not, oh, I don't know, his personality, or his charitable efforts, or his life choices, or his family background. Because singers absolutely love it when people go for them merely because of their appearance. Ask any celeb. That's what they'll say!
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving
I think you and I should stay the same
This line, honestly, makes absolutely no sense. I don't understand it. It has nothing to do with the rest of the song, she's not even talking about him she's talking about other people. Why are people always leaving? Because reality is teen crushes don't always work out, people change, and grow, and live. And why would she want things to stay the same exactly? If he doesn't know about her feelings and will probably never like her, then I mean...why would she want that to stay the way it is? Yeah. That's what I thought.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
You know how I feel about the chorus at this point. What the heck, Taylor? That's all I have to say. You're making a goose out of yourself with this song. Expressing your love for a person who you're just going to move on from? At least wait until you're in a relationship to write a song about specific people instead of just ideas and stuff.
They're dimming the street lights
So it's nighttime now, we're establishing setting! This is something new!
You're perfect for me why aren't you here tonight?
Why isn't he there tonight, Taylor? Let's think about this. What have I been saying for the entirety of this song? This is ridiculous. You're a big girl you should know how these things work. Also, at this point he still has no idea how you feel in the first place because you haven't even tried to tell him. So you can't ask why he isn't there...
I'm waiting alone now so come on and come out and pull me near
Shine, shine, shine
This is sweet, you think to yourself. She just wants him to come out and be with her. Come out of where, his house? Look up at previous line, where she's throwing rocks at his window. Stalker. She's still stalking him, this line clearly implies that she's standing outside of his house waiting for him to notice her, come out, and work his magic. So effective, I applaud your logic.
Hey Stephen I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose
Really? What are they, I'd love to know. So far all I've seen? Reasons why he's better off without you.
All those other girls, well they're beautiful but would they write a song for you
Well you know what Taylor Swift? I think they might very well write songs for him, they just aren't famous recording artists so they can't get them out there to show him. And maybe some of them aren't beautiful. And maybe some of them have depth and appreciate him for more than the way he walks.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help I if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
I can't help myself
No. I'm done with this chorus, I hate it so much. Done.
Myself, can't help myself
I can't help myself.
Dear Taylor, I know you're a stalker, so please don't take this personally...
The reason this guy doesn't like you? You're kind of acting like a freak...
And for the record apparently when she showed him the song he was super flattered and all, because Taylor Swift wrote a song about him. He was probably too busy realizing she's such a "Great Girl" who is now over him that he didn't even notice all the creepy lines. Way to go, guy. Way to go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)